Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Public pools and bunions


I didn't realize just how long I have disliked public pools...and then I found this piece I wrote over 10 years ago when I had a bunionectomy....yes people a bunionectomy. I inherited bunions and have had em since I was like 9....one of them got so bad I couldn't walk, so I had surgery....best thing I ever could have done....but, as you can see, the aftermath was more than a little cumbersome...Enjoy.



I sincerely have a newfound fondness for retarded pool freaks...You know the one's I'm talking about. There is always one, sometimes two, of those freaky, deformed, grossmeoutmypants excuses for human beings, who enjoy terrorizing local swimming facilities. Well now I am one of them. The girl with the barf on me twice and call me pukey, mangled, blue, ugly-ass foot! Yes, my foot although is healing quite nicely as the doc. says, does not look so pretty. Long gone are the days of Yoga and Step class, farewell to high heals and dancing - hello you disgustingly sorry-ass excuse for a foot.
Well, due to the fact that I do not wish to gain yet another ass, I have decided to take up acquasize. Thinking to myself, well I will just rush into the water and quickly out so no one will actually see the foot. But no, apparently you have to take off your shoes before you actually can get in...rules rules. Not only do you have to remove your shoes, but you must do so outside of the changing room, in the hall with everyone else. So I sit my ass on the bench and proceed to remove my one very stylin shoe and then my other enormously huge, slow person shoe which comes equiped with velcro for your ease and pleasure....perhaps that gave me away? Next are the socks, or sock in my case, as the left foot elegantly sports a blue and pink slipper, and not, I might add without the essential pompom! Well certainly by now everyone is curious to see what kind of horriffic deformity I am hiding under there. So I wait....I pretend that I have lost my keys in my pocket yet again, or the wall in front of me is extremely interesting....and I wait until they leave...those laughing, jeering, snickering people with perfect feet.
I am ready to make my move, as I enter the change room I quickly find a corner in which to take cover. I hide my foot in the locker. Well perhaps I don't go that far, but I do see a sign which says those with communicable diseases shall not be permitted.....geezus, are bunions communicable???
I finally make it into the pool area, I can feel the gagging stares of astonishment burning into my foot. Or is it just me, am I the one who is paranoid? Finally I am in the water, and we have a good workout, my foot feels alive and well. It kicks, it flutters and twists and turns...in the water all sterotypes are removed, it is no longer deformed but just a normal foot.....that no one can see.
Oh no the class is over, everyone saunters out of the pool. I wait as long as possible, then dart to the showers....which are communal...damn it! There I look down to see the foot has followed me, but now its worse. The water has made it soggy, the kicking has made it swollen and the pressure has made it dark purple...it is a grotesque piece of meat hanging off my calf. I am horrified. My limp becomes a little more exaggerated, perhaps they will feel sorry for me? Or... is it just me, maybe they didn't even notice? Could it be that everyone has their little "abnormalities," and that mine just happens to be visible? Are we just imagining these things?  Hell NO, we've all seen it, that women with the back hair, that man with the ingrown toenail, and those endless amounts of floating bandaids. Don't try to hide it.....cause honey, that bandaid will not cover that missing arm, deformities are NOT in the eye of the beholder, the are right there on your ugly-ass foot for all to see!
So I beg of you, foot to foot, don't oogle, don't stare and please do not laugh....cause I can see under your bandaid, and sweetheart it ain't too pretty.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

I Hate Public Pools

It has been ages since I have been in public pool...and I hate them.....no, that word doesn't cover it...I actually despise them.  We had decided to take our 10 month old swimming, since many of our friends had done so with their wee ones and said the kiddies just loved it.

I had kind of been putting it off...procrastinating...but unsure as to why.  So we finally found a day that worked with our schedules, we packed up (which is a huge pain in the ass to pack for swimming myself, let alone a husband and baby) and off we went to a local Vancouver community pool. 

We parked...all was well...then we got close to the main entrance and I started to get this panicky feeling as soon as I smelled the strong odor of chlorine.....but in we went....the disgusted comments I had made about the smell went unappreciated by my husband unfortunately.  The lady at the front desk was so smiley and cheerful..."have a great time" she says, but I know secretly she is smirking behind her clean, dry desk...thinking you sick fucks....there is no way I would take my child into this pool.

Ivan and I part ways...me with child, and into the women's area we go to change and I really start to panic....not because of all the women in there with their 1970's jungle bushes crawling about... and not because of the saggy boobs (After becoming a mom, I no longer judge)  not even because of the smell of wet, chlorinated bum....but the disgusting layer of warm, slime that coats the change room floor (I just barfed in my mouth)....you know it...you feel it....its kind of thick...and has lots of pubes and long dark hairs caught in it...all swirled about...not to mention the stray band-aids and general bits of grossness everywhere.  I want to cry....I want to leave immediately...but my boy...must do it for the boy. 

Clearly I must love my son a lot to do this for him...I remember when my mom used to take my brother and I to the YMCA or the family leisure center to swim...I hated it (and she confirmed this today).  Shayne and I would play this disturbing game....so if you HAD to.....would you rather lick the floor of the leisure center or eat one of the floating band-aids (sick, twisted little shits we were). But this gives you some indication of how gross we think swimming pools are...or at least the change rooms.

Anyway, I lay my adorable little son on the gross bench while a group of Chinese women goo goo gaa gaa over him... I try to protect him from their naked butts and hairy moles.  I manage to get into my bathing suit and lock up our stuff in the locker...I inserted the quarter and have one brief moment of happy nostalgia...whenever I had to wait for mom to have her shower after swimming, I would go around and feel the little slot in every locker looking for forgotten quarters...sometimes I would collect a whole dollar or two, and this apparently made the entire swimming experience worth it.  Dutch and I scurry out into the pool area...where everyone is laughing and playing....and all I can think is, this is one giant disgusting bath filled with gross, dirty people who now think they are clean because they are in water....but my son LOVES it.  He is squealing with delight...daddy throws him up in the air and then dips his chubby little toes in the water and he giggles away.  He crawls through the shallow end, and splashes himself...we take him over to the little lazy river and float around and around and he is in his glory.  It's really adorable, I am actually glad we came.

We enjoy playing with the little dude splish splashing away....he had so much fun....and we did too.  But now, my hubby and I are done...ready to leave...the fun has worn off and I felt like I had made enough sacrifice for one day/week/year.  Uggggg....back to the dreaded change rooms.  We quickly shower and head into that damn women's change room and....( you may barf if you have a weak stomach) I swear I saw an effin blood clot on the floor....I seriously almost fainted.  I grabbed our shit out of the locker and put my dry clothes over my wet bathing suit as I couldn't bear to stay in there a moment longer....I can't even begin to analyze what I just said above...I don't want to...I will be haunted forever.

Is there a moral to this story...hmmmmm....well...I guess having kids sure makes you do a lot of gross shit that you really don't want to do, but you love them so much, you do it anyway.

Enjoy.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Hawksworth Restaurant in Vancouver

I have been spoiling myself a bit lately with some fabulous Vancouver dining! 

Hubby and I had a date night a few weeks ago as Gran and Gramps were in town to babysit...wooo hooo!  It was so overwhelming trying to decide where to go...I felt like we had one chance to pick something amazing...and ALL of the places I have been DYING to try just fluttered out of my brain....too many choices and Heather shuts down.

So we decided on just starting off with a drink at the lounge of the Fairmont Pacific Rim which is an absolutely sumptuous hotel...wow.  We sipped Blue Mountain bubbles and slurped back some cool Oysters.  Divine way to start the night with my hubby.  After that, the only new restaurant that I could think of that I had wanted to try was Hawksworth which apparently we were really lucky to get a table at, as none of my pals have been able to get a reso.  We went spur of the moment for a late dinner, and were lucky I guess.  Beautiful room...you just feel wealthy being there....we sipped more bubbles while we waited for our table.  It was hard to decide on food, as everything sounded just splendid...but we settled on the caramelized squid to start, which was a smallish plate...but loaded with flavour and Ivan devoured the Rack of Pork...the largest dish on the menu (so the server said). It was fabulous.  While I opted for something lighter, (why I don't know.....breastfeeding seems to require the appetite of Andre the Giant) the Sablefish was equally delish. 

It's a pricey restaurant...but worth going once I think.  I like that there are many different components to each of their dishes, and each separate component somehow seems to really tie the whole dish together.  ex... generally I wouldn't think to put shiitake mushrooms with yams...but it works. I don't know why...but when I go to a "fancy" restaurant I really want them to have warm bread on the table with soft whipped butter. ...unfortunately Hawksworth does not share my version of fancy.  Maybe my idea of fancy is wrong...or sounds like going to the Keg (I really do like their damn bread there...nothing else, but the bread)....so because I had ordered a "lighter" dish...and by light, I don't mean small...this is not one of those places that serves you three peas for $40.00....but the sable fish was more like a soup, and I did leave feeling like I could eat more....if you are breastfeeding...order the pork hahaha...anyway, I could have certainly enjoyed a bit of nice bread at the table as well.

All in all, a fabulous evening was had, and I hope if you go, you certainly Enjoy!


Thursday, August 23, 2012

A world of Distraction

I can't believe my little boy is already 10 months old...where has the time gone?  Sound like a familiar statement from every single parent you have ever met...it does to me.  I went to lunch today with some industry friends I used to work with today.  We went to the Boathouse on Kits beach...always good/average food...but wow, what a beautiful location. 

10 months ago, when I used to meet industry folks for lunch, I would rush into the restaurant, most likely coming from another meeting...I would barely see where I was walking, because I would be desperately trying to type out a message to some client in a panic, and if they didn't get an answer asap the world would really actually end.  I would try my best to focus on lunch and the person I was sitting with but I often would have this nagging urge to check my blackberry.  As soon as my companion went to the bathroom, I would whip out my bb, like some addict and quickly scroll through the messages...whats urgent...who needs a call....shit that person is sooo important, I gotta call them back asap.

Lunch companion returns..."would you excuse me I gotta make a call" Ahhhh...I feel much better now that I have resolved this issue....I've had my "fix"  Now I can relax and enjoy lunch. My hair was tied back, my suit was on straight and my heels were too tight...the quintessential business woman.

Today, well....today was just slightly different.  One of my industry friends is also on Maternity leave and so we brought our babies along for this lovely luncheon with our industry non-maternity leave girlfriends.  Somehow, I don't feel like I got to catch up with any of them....

Dutch and I arrived at the restaurant 15mins early...because, well because that's what worked best with our schedule.  We walked along the beach until he started to fuss....I was looking pretty cute in my bright orange denim and slinky stripped shirt...no one would have even noticed a baby strapped to my chest in the fluorescent green Ergo Baby.  He starts to fuss...we head inside...I try walking around the restaurant to keep him calm...not calm...not calm at all...Okay...I wanted to save "the boob" for when the girls arrive...but he is absolutely not interested in my plan at all...he is saying...eff you mom, I don't give two shits that you are meeting your fancy ass friends for lunch...give me that effin boob pronto!  Okay FINE child...insert boob here.

Ah peace and quiet...I enjoy the view for a few moments before my girlfriend and her baby arrive...We have a few seconds to say hello, then she has to get her little girl sorted out.  Then the other gals show up...Dang, Dutchie is finished already!  We start trying to catch up, but both babies start to fuss....I lay out a variety of carefully chopped up bits of food on the table in front of Dutch...he starts shoveling...there are bits of broccoli in his eye and on his shoulder and about 50 scraps on the floor...3 second rule...ummmm lets make it the 2 minute rule....clearly I have no sanitation issues....gotta build up that immune system right????

Its so lovely to see the girls...but they are on their bb's most of the time....one gal with her bluetooth glued to her pretty little head, ready to take that next call....and calls there were.  We were all distracted with our own stuff.  It was so surreal...I have only been away from the industry for such a short time...and now I have this tiny little monkey who brings me more joy than anything sucking up every ounce of my attention at this luncheon...but I am grateful...grateful that I have had the opportunity to step out of that role I have had for the past 8 years, and step into this new role....the most rewarding and challenging of my life....it can only make me a better person, and better at everything I do.  A welcome distraction indeed.

Enjoy!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

I Salute You Single Parents!

So yesterday was day #1 of being on my own with baby Dutch.  I haven't been on my own with the little guy without some sort of help from Ivan or family since he was born, and it was a magnificent day.  Ivan left early Friday morning for a soccer tournament/boozefest/golf/awayfrommykidandwifeahhhhhhh long weekend.  Bugger.

Anyway, yesterday was bright and sunny so after Dutchies first nap I strapped him into the Ergo baby and we hopped on the bus headed for downtown!!!  It was the first time taking Dutch on a bus....not my favorite mode of transport by any stretch...however, Ivan has the car and I wanted to take baby on an adventure.  Bus went okay....I had to pop a boob in his mouth...but that just fixes everything....men..sheesh!  We went for a visit to where I used to work, where Dutch was quickly swept up in ooogles and kisses by the ladies in the office.  We stayed for about an hour then headed for some shade under a tree so little mister could have some lunch.  After that, mama was hungry so I stopped at a food truck on Burrard called Tacofino and treated myself to a scrumptious seared tuna taco that was so perfect, I suggest you go.  The burritos looked amazing, but they were HUGE and I wasn't so hungry (surprise). Then we popped back on the bus and headed for home....it was such a lovely day, and we both went to bed happy and completely pooped.

Day #2....not so dazzling.  Dutchie decided to wake up at 6:15am this morning..and after attempting to let him "cry it out" for a while, the cries did not "out" so up I dragged myself...plastering a smile on my face in order to greet my screaming child. My eyes are still fuzzy, I trip on a toy....I am not happy...but coochie-coochie-coo baby....lets greet the day my little goo goo gaga.  I s-l-o-w-l-y walk us through our usual morning routine....attempting to distract him from boob for a few minutes until he demands to be fed immediately.  So fed, he is!

Its too early on a Saturday to go out anywhere, as nothing will be open, so we play, and we play and we play...in between the uhhhh NO Dutchie don't climb on the fireplace, play- play.....NO Dutch, stay away from daddies home-made screen door, play- play, DUTCH...NO, don't put your fingers in the fan...play- play -play AHHHHH Dutch, don't try to climb up on the ledge..your gonna hurt yourself.....waaaaaaaaaaaaa. See I told you.  I feel so bad telling him no all the time...but condo living + baby = NO NO NO. That will be changing soon!

Finally ...three hours later, its time for Dutchies first nap...ahhhhhhh peace at last...oh wait, I have 4 piles of laundry to do...I'll quickly throw one load in then sit and relax and read my smutty book....okay laundry in....oh shit...I forgot to clean up his highchair and surrounding area...don't want the food to get stuck on...then Ill sit and read....okay done.  I grab for my smutty 50 Shades of Gray to see what sort of kinky sex Christian and Ana are going to have today...WAAAAAAA Mutha Fuck....REALLY Dutch...REALLY...you have been sleeping for only 20mins??? What happened to your hour long naps, clearly you know your father is out of town and you are trying to brainwash me via rest deprivation.  Uggggg okay..until later Christian.

Dutch is up an at em, so we head out in the stroller to Whole Foods for a delicious muffin which we take down to Kits beach.  Dutchie plays on the grass, pulling up the leaves and flowers and putting them in his mouth...I let him, because I am eating a delicious muffin....waa waaa...okay ready to go are you.  We quickly fit in a few errands and head back home for a late lunch. It is now after 3pm and Dutchie is cranky and appears to be ready for a nap.  He is down and out for the count within minutes....I am EXHAUSTED...so I crawl into bed myself to try and catch a few zeees....WAAA WAAAAA....NO, no please....I was Just drifting off WAAAAAAA....yet another 25 minute nap..what is going ON! Must be teething AGAIN.....and now I am not happy mom, and no matter what you do for the rest of the day, you will not be able to make me happy....groan.  I sure hope my husband is having a good time..bugger.

Mr. Dutch basically cried and whimpered from 4pm until bed time....I wanted to pull my hair out....I have never thought about Divorce until now......but I seriously seriously do NOT know how single parents do this...its only been two days...and I have two more to go.  If you are a single parent...for gods sake please live near your family or hire help.  FUCK I forgot about the laundry...mmmmmm it smells like soggy feet.

My one saving grace is my little boy before bath time..its the best...when he gets all in the rudey nudey...gives his little hammer a yank to make sure its still there, then giggles away....I get tears thinking how lucky I really am...(I also get tears because the diaper genie effin wreaks).  He plays like a champion in the bath...splish splashin away and gives me a slobbery, open mouth kiss on my chin, then tries to bite it....seriously I couldn't love anyone or anything more than I love my son in this moment.

He goes to sleep quickly....I think its been an exhausting day for both of us (Ivan...don't you even dare complain about your sore back after all your soccer games...you are soooo sending me to the spa when you get home).

I salute you single parents!

Enjoy.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The past two months

OMG as if I haven't written since the beginning of JUNE...this is crazy...I think about writing every single day...but then that day escapes me and its onto the next and then the next.  I swear the day I graduated highschool life took on this hyperspeed pace, whereby everything seems to zip by in the blink of an eye (as they say..... welll...they are so right).  Having a baby really accentuates this because you get to see their growth and change everyday.  Our little Dutch is now 9 months and I really can't believe it...my maternity leave is over in just a few months and our baby will soon have his first birthday...where has this year gone??

So much has happened over the past two months...Dutch started crawling and standing...he pulls himself up on everything.  We went to Tofino on a family trip which was simply fantastic!  It ended up being just the three of us, but it was perfect..lots of long walks every day....Dutchies first experience with sand (he loved it so much he ate it)...a visit with my lovely in-laws on Saltspring Island...a trip up to the mountains of Northern BC for one of my best friends' weddings, which was so much fun...then a stop in Peachland to visit my cousins..with a brief gander along the Narmada bench to sample some vino and buy a bottle or four (same amount of teeth Mr. Dutch now has)  Wow...just thinking about all of this brings a smile to my heart.

I also discovered my lovely little blog has a few more readers then I knew of... a few people were mentioning one or two of my entries which made me feel so honored...and...well inspired to write more.

Thank You World for letting me have this extraordinary life...I shall do my best to live it well.

Enjoy!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Throw me a Bone

So finally after 3 years of living on West Broadway a new butcher shop opened called The Honest Butcher....its been there quite a few months now, and I have popped by various times just to check things out as I love the concept.  You would think the store was closed if you walked by because there is nothing to it...it looks like a bare shop, until you enter and lay your eyes on meat meat meat.  They say they are the only butcher shop in Van that does tip to tail...so they buy the whole animal and butcher it right there in the shop, and they use every last bit.  All local, hormone free and just the good stuff.

We are used to going to Market Meats on West 4th, where the service is amazing and they always have great tips and they are just so friendly.  Ivan and I don't eat much meat...maybe once or twice a week, so we don't mind buying the good stuff when we do....yeh it costs an arm and a leg (hahaha) but I can feel good about what I am eating. 

Anyway, we are having company for dinner tomorrow, and I know they love meat, so I thought I would make things easy on myself and just do some bbq skewers.  I went to a cooking class and watched the chef do this with marinated lamb and it was so quick/easy/delish I thought it was a great idea.

So off I zipped to The Honest Butcher to buy me some lamb.  The guy who is always there (I think the owner) who is a really LOW talker (pardon...hu??? say again??) asked if I needed help and yes I certainly did.  Behind the counter at the back of the shop is their meat locker...you can see the animals hanging from the top....kinda creepy but cool.  And today on the huge table behind the counter lay several unrecognizable animals....I was fascinated.  Usually something like this would totally gross me out....kinda reminded me of a horror movie....but I guess because I love cooking so much, I felt intrigued.

So I told the low talker that I have never made lamb before and my recipe said I needed 2lbs of cubed lamb to make skewers.  He asked if I wanted shoulder or leg....no idea....so he said, Ill see what I have.  He walked over to the table full of random animal parts and grabbed a bony, meaty mass of what turns out to be lamb shoulder and literally plops it on a band saw and cuts it clean in half....I have never seen anything like this before.....too real.  I guess I am used to all of the pretty, perfectly cubed pieces of meat at Market Meats.....of course they too have a room where all the magic happens down at the end of the store...but this was really right in your face. 

Low talker shows me the shoulder of lamb and asks me if I want him to cube it, but the prices goes up an extra $2.00/lb.  I say no (being a good wifey trying to save money)...I will do it at home.....WTF Heather....really, WTF were you thinking...that you would just take this expensive hunk of shoulder home and cut it into perfect cubes of meat.  OMG, an HOUR later I have totally massacred the lamb shoulder....it now looks like a lamb foot...I don't have any of the proper knives and have zero idea how to even cook lamb, let alone debone it.  There is such a skill to this...my cubes were not cubes at all...I don't know what shape they were...not cube.....the worst part is, I left so much meat on the bones that I barely have enough for dinner tomorrow.  That 2lb shoulder gave me about .5 lbs of meat.....see what happens when I try to save money honey....it ends in disaster and will now cost more as I need more meat!!!

What a lesson this has been....never try to save money...always pay people to do things for you hehehehe....I am not crazy about this honest butcher....tomorrow morning I will be going back to Market Meats where I will pay the extra $$$  to save me hours of my time...where the meat is top quality, and is already perfectly cut...all pretty and waiting for me to just throw on the grill.

Either way, you can't go wrong...grab a side of animal and enjoy!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

The BEST bakeries In Vancouver

So we basically live on bakery row in Vancouver.  It is ridiculous how many unbelievably amazing bakeries and cafes there are along West Broadway in Kits...and we live right smack in the midst of each tempting little place.

I never really went into any of these places before...because, well I never had a sweet tooth before and being the health conscious gal that I am...I often made my own low-fat cookies and baking....that is until I had a baby!  Not sure what has come over me since our little bundle of joy arrived...but I am just LOVING the baked goods.  It first started when my mom came to visit when Dutch was born....she knows Ivan has an insatiable sweet tooth...and that I refuse to keep store bought cookies and crap in the house...so she would sneak out and buy him stuff.  Well this time she went across to the new brownie shop called Yaletown Brownies where there slogan is "We make the best brownies in town" and you better believe THEY DO!!! OMG....brownies have always just been okay to me ...really could take em or leave em....but these brownies are bloody amazing!!! So dense and rich and moist...its almost like eating fudge...but not as intense and gummy as fudge....and they have so many different kinds....my faves are the Pecan Caramel and Peppermint...Ivan digs the white chocolate...but even the gluten free is wicked good....really you can't go wrong.  This is the PERFECT thing to bring as a hostess gift if you are heading to a dinner party or a gathering...they are a bit pricey...but I dare you to get through a whole bar.....usually half does me in...we like to get a few different kinds and cut them into four so we can share the love.

Then a few months or so ago a girlfriend had to drop her baby off with Ivan to watch for a few moments while she ran out...and the bitch returned with the most AMAZING croissants I have ever tasted from Thomas Haas .  I had never bothered to go in before as I thought it was just all fancy chocolates...but oh no..these croissants are just the perfect texture of light and flaky...yet tender and heavenly.  So I just HAD to go there the following weekend to treat myself...only when I entered the store, I knew I was in trouble because they had about 4 or 5 different kinds of beautiful decadent croissants all screaming my name...I settled on the double baked Almond...and I almost couldn't finish it, it was so rich and totally over-the-top...but completely amazing. Everything in that store looked amazing...I hate knowing that we live right beside it.

Then last weekend my brother and sister in law came for a visit with our nephew and I didn't have time to make breakfast in the morning, so I asked Ivan to grab a few bagels from Safeway.  Well these dinks came back with not only the most fabulous bagels ever...but they brought 6 beautiful cinnamon buns from Solly's .  Now these weren't the typical giant doughy, gummy bloat you up for a month, cinnamon buns drowning in frosting..they were light and ever so slightly flaky.. and had so much flavor and substance...they were what cinnamon buns ought to be...how your great gramma probably made them.  This Jewish bakery gets top marks for these babies. My husband typically doesn't like cinnamon buns at all...he would just rather not have one...but even he loved these.  Upon my sister-in-laws recommendation we even froze the last one and ate it the other day...of course not as good as fresh...but still pretty sucken good!

I think we are going to seriously have to consider moving out of this neighbourhood if only so we can save our asses and bellies....Ivan complains all the time about how much weight he mysteriously seems to be gaining.....not much of a mystery when you eat a brownie for lunch and a DQ blizzard for an afternoon snack.  Oh yeh....we also live by a Dairy Queen....but I don't give a crap about that...I don't care for DQ products...but Ivan loves those blizzards...especially in the summer.

So as you can see, it is pure torture for someone with a sweet tooth to live in this area (I haven't even mentioned Nottes Bon Ton - Ivan's favorite since he was a kid....try the diplomat cake...or his traditional treat...the Christmas Log)...I am so lucky I am breastfeeding right now, as it really does help to keep the post-baby weight down...after I indulge in all of these amazing treats..I just pop the little guy on my boob instead of going to yoga or the gym...I may just have to continue breastfeeding forever....hahahah.

So if you are in the mood...or should I say, if your mood needs a little lift and an indulgent snack is what you are after...head to West Broadway in Kitsalano and Enjoy!!!!


Monday, May 28, 2012

Leaving Baby with a Sitter for the first time!

So last night we left Dutch with a babysitter for the first time!!!!  Other than leaving him with my parents or a few hours with one of my best girlfriends, we have not left our 7 month old son with a babysitter.  But last night was Ivan's birthday and I had thrown him a bit of a surprise party so I had no choice but to hire a sitter.

What a daunting task for a new mommy....it was easy to find a babysitter thank goodness...I think I was very lucky that the new family that just moved in across the hall have a teenage daughter who was anxious to babysit. 

Knowing I would need a babysitter for this particular evening, I had to make sure she was prepared (or maybe I was attempting to prepare myself).  So I asked her to come over so we could have a quick chat about the details....I casually sat her down and then asked her a few simple questions.

So how was your day today??? uh hu...whatever...anyway...

How old are you?
Have you babysat before?
Have you held a baby before?
How old was the baby?
Do you feel comfortable around babies?
Do you take drugs and alcohol?
Do you have sex?
Have you ever kidnapped a baby?

Okay maybe I didn't ask those bottom few....but I damn well wanted to.

The first interview went well...I asked how much she charged, and I felt $7 bucks an hour was a steal considering most of my girlfriends have told me that the going rate is a whopping $15/hr!!!!!  I guess she charged so little because it was her FIRST babysitting job.  I don't think I would have hired her if it weren't for the fact that her mom and dad were right across the hall.

So I had her come over a second time to practice picking up Dutch and putting him in the crib, then taking him out and sitting on the couch with him.  This poor girl must have thought I was a complete nightmare....but whatever...its MY baby and if I want to see how you handle MY BABY then you better just do it.  And so she did...Dutch seemed to like her, so I was feeling pretty good.

I restrained myself from having her come over a third time....so the big night rolled around...she was 2 minutes early (good girl) and I felt sick leaving our little baby with this strange young gal....but alas...I did.

We arrived at the party at 7:30...I quickly busied myself greeting guests and making sure the food and bevies were flowing...people were coming up to chat....I slapped on a face of interest..all the while thinking OMG what if this strange family was plotting to move in beside us so they could steal Dutch and fly to another country....they did look a bit shifty last time I saw them in the elevator....yes..Hi..oh thanks for coming to Ivan's party.......uh hu...uh hu...uh hu......Yes, I am sure this family is a bunch of professional baby stealers....so by 8:25 I just had to call.  Ivan told her we would call her on the house phone (good thinking hubby...if I called her on her cell she could be anywhere with Dutch...at the airport...the mall...out at the park drinking with her gang member friends)....ring ring ring ring ring......hello...comes this sweet little innocent voice across the line.  Hey!...I casually say in my "oh I'm such a cool mom" voice...so how's everything going??????  Just fine, she says (liar...are you really at the airport right now...OH wait...I called the house line) Dutch has been sleeping soundly since you left.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....and breathe new mama...breathe......okay thanks...that's all I needed to hear.

Champagne here I come!!!!  The evening was lovely and a good time was had by all....we arrived home to a sweet young girl doing her homework on the couch and my snugly little baby safe and warm in his bed. 

So to all you new moms out there...I KNOW you think these thoughts too (because you have told me yourselves)....no worries...we are all in the same boat...we just have to remember to take a moment to breathe and Enjoy!


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Thank You Husband

So as I had mentioned in my last blog...I really think it is how you are brought up, or what you are used to....the influence you had regarding whether to celebrate or how to celebrate your mom on mothers day.  As a child you simply wouldn't know the occasion existed..or even if you did, you wouldn't know what to do.  So it is up to all the daddies out there to set the example!

I think our little boy will have the very best example set by his wonderful father.  It was my first mother's day this year and Ivan admitted he didn't remember when the date was...but someone at work had brought it up.  So he gave me some advanced notice that he would like to celebrate by taking Dutchie for the day so I could get out and do something for myself.  And boy did I!!!  I went to the spa and got a deliciously relaxing 75 min facial.  Then I enjoyed a cup of steaming tea and a giant muffin while reading trash magazines...it was a morning of pure bliss.   Of course I found myself thinking of Dutch and if he was hungry, or if this or if that...so I did call a few times...but Ivan assured me that they were having a wonderful time.

I then zipped to the fish market to purchase some fresh seafood for dinner!!! Ivan had asked me to pick out a recipe so he could cook me dinner....this was music to my ears.  Although a little overwhelming...when my hubby says he wants to cook (which he does about twice a year), but I have to choose the recipe...OMG it took me days to decide...but I finally chose a Cioppino recipe that looked simple but fabulous.

I went home to feed my little man and myself and then off I went again to do a little clothing shopping...but then started to feel guilty for leaving Ivan with Dutchie all day....but trying to convince myself I deserved the break....I tell ya...a woman's brain has never been tested and worked over so intensely once there are children involved.  It's exhausting sometimes.  Nevertheless, I did manage to find two beautiful party dresses.....I went in for some simple tops that would disguise my new mommy tummy...but instead bought two fabulous party dresses???!!! Not sure when or where these parties are happening...but I am ready for when they do.

Picked up a few more groceries for dinner and made a mad dash back home.  We bathed and fed our perfect little angel and then Ivan turned on the tunes and poured me a glass of bubbles while I sat up at the bar watching him prepare an absolutely amazing dinner...in his underwear I might add.  I was in heavan......I loved every moment of it.  There is only one thing I enjoy more than cooking...and that is being cooked for!!! 

We enjoyed a beautiful meal...finished off the bubbles and I couldn't have felt more celebrated if I tried.  My husband made a real effort to make me feel special for my first mother's day and I think because he made this effort...and hopefully does in years to come..our son will be raised with a good appreciation of this lovely occasion.  So Ivan, I want to Thank You so very much for making me feel wonderful for my very first mother's day...for choosing to recognize the occasion...even though I am "not your mother" I feel blessed for these lessons you are teaching our little son.

I look forward to celebrating you on Father's day.

Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Thank You Mom


Growing up, I don't remember doing anything outstanding for Mother's Day. My brother and I probably made mom some sort of silly crafts or drawing when we were in school....but we didn't try to make pancakes or breakfast in bed...and in hindsight I think that is most likely because our dad didn't promote that kind of behavior. He doesn't know how to cook and gets lost in the fridge if something isn't "right in front of your nose" as mom would always say. So what I do remember is dad taking us all out for a mothers day brunch...often times to a nice hotel where they had a huge buffet (definitely more my dad's style of celebration)...I think my mom enjoyed it.

Now as an adult, if my mom and I are in the same city on mothers day, I always like to take her for a manicure or pedicure, or lunch or something of the sort that we can do together.  If we are not in the same city then I do my best to send a little treat in the mail....a phone call goes without question.

I really do think it is up to the father to instill the importance of honoring your mom on mother's day.  Of course children have no idea that mothers day comes every year in May, to them its just another day...and if not encouraged to take pause and celebrate the occasion, it would certainly be "just another day."  I am glad our father took mom out every year as a Thank You....it did instill a certain appreciation in us kids.

That said, as a new mom...who is already overwhelmed by all of the new duties and chores and stuff to do, I think my mom deserved to be taken out for brunch every week!  My son is only 7 months old, so yes there is a lot of laundry, pureeing of baby foods, diaper changes, tidying, breastfeeding ..and the list goes on.  But I have only been doing this for 7 months.  To even begin to think about all of the amazing things that our mom did for us over the past 34 years (and is still doing today) is mind numbing.  How in the world did you have time to work every day, yet pack us an amazingly wonderful lunch (enviable by any kid around) and every day in that lunch bag would be a napkin with a special note...just for me.  "Good afternoon Sunshine"...with a drawing of a smiling sun...."I love you" with hearts...." Have a wonderful day".  Everyday it was something new and exciting...and it was a message just for me and it always always made me smile.  And where did you find the time to be home from work when we came home from school so you could make us a snack...that fridge and freezer were always full to the brim with delicious foods....I don't ever remember seeing an empty fridge.  And where on earth, after doing all of the laundry, ironing, cleaning, sewing of buttons and helping with homework did you find the time to make us all a wonderful, and well balanced home made dinner every single night???!!! 

You made it to all of my sporting events and later on when I fell in love with every other boy I met, you knew not to patronize me or call it puppy love...you listened and you felt sad when I had a heartache.  you made it seem okay and not weird or uncomfortable when I needed my first training bra and had my first period...you always knew just the right thing to say or do.  And when you found my cigarettes and vodka bottles that I thought I had so cleverly hid...you didn't ground me or punish me...you just talked to me about it.  The disappointment in your voice didn't go unnoticed.   When I wanted to go out partying or to the bar, you always said to call no matter what time..no matter where I was...just to let her know I was okay....and if I wasn't, you would always come and pick me up...with no judgement, no scolding...just a safe and warm ride home.

When your grandson was born, you came out to cook and clean and take care of us all for a month.  You never judged the decisions I made with my new son...just encouraged and supported me....and for all of these things and a million more, I salute you mama and I Thank You from the bottom of my heart.  I can only hope that I can be as great a mother to my son as you are to me.

I love you

Enjoy.



Saturday, May 12, 2012

Tea and Muffin with my Son

Ivan and I used to go for a tea and muffin and a game of cards every weekend to one of our favorite cafes...this of course, was before we had a baby.  It was one of my most favorite things to do with my hubby and I looked forward to it all week long. A chance to just be together and relax and catch up while nibbling on a scrumptious muffin and sipping tea.  The scrumptious muffin part is important, cause I ain't eatn no shitty commercially made muffin.  I want it made fresh, with beautiful ingredients and its gotta be that perfect texture.  For me that is a Capers/Whole Foods or Aphrodites muffin if we are in Kits.  I regress....the muffin caught me up. 

Anyway, the point of my story is, since we had our little baby, this weekend tradition has sadly been put on hold.  Dutch generally has two naps in the morning without enough time in between to get out for a tea and muffin.  But this morning he woke up really early from his first nap and I was dying to have a muffin for breaky....unfortunately Ivan was out working this morning, so I speedily put Dutch in his stroller, and off we power walked to Aphrodites...the sun was out and it was a gorgeous morning....I was so excited to sit in the cafe..chat with our favorite server, read a fluffy magazine, sip tea, slather my fresh muffin in butter and just enjoy.  REALLY Heather....I mean REALLY....is that what you actually thought would happen...here's how it really went:

9:00am-Arrive at muffin shop-try to get stroller through door...bang door numerous times until it fits through
9:02am-There is a line up with one gal behind the counter...and not my favorite gal.  I quickly park the stroller to claim the last open table..Dutch starts to wimper.
9:08am-Finally I am served...I choose the rasberry chai muffin, ask for butter and a green tea. I am stoked...I gather up a bunch of reading materials and plop myself down at the table.
9:12-Girl brings muffin and tea...grabs a cube of butter out the of FREEZER and plops it on my plate and rushes off to serve the others.
9:15- I attempt to melt the butter by placing the dish over my steaming tea
9:16-Dutch is squirming..he wants out of the stroller- I pick him up and try to knife some butter..still frozen..it goes flying off my plate.
9:17-shove butterless muffin in mouth..Dutch pulls my hair and starts to fuss again.
9:20-We leave

Ah well...we wont be doing that again any time soon...especially without daddy's help.  I am certainly grateful for the many years my husband and I got to enjoy our tea and muffin time...and I look forward to doing it again when our boy is a bit older and can eat his own muffin.

Enjoy.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Making baby food at home

Well cooking has become more a part of my life than ever with our little man starting to eat solids.  Being a bit of a health nut myself, I decided I really wanted to make all of Dutchies foods vs. buying the jars.  At first I thought it was so simple I wondered how anyone could get the store bought stuff...but now he is eating more and more and his likes and dislikes are becoming more apparent...and it is difficult to ensure he has a balanced diet....so for these reasons alone..I now place no judgement on anyone who purchases their baby food!  Not that I did before...I just really understand now...especially if some moms have to go back to work early.

Nevertheless...I still want to do it, and I am having fun experimenting with new combinations and starting to add a bit of spice as well.  So far, I think he is a really good eater.  He eats lots of the things he loves and not much of the things he doesn't.  If he doesn't like one thing...but I know it's healthy for him and he needs it..then I mix it in with another.

So his favorite things are yams and butternut squash ( I don't blame him...a couple of my faves too). He also loves peas...but is not much for broccoli, kale, collard greens or swiss chard. Are you thinking who the eff gives their baby swiss chard...are you wondering what the eff swiss chard is hahahha.  Well because we don't eat much meat I want to ensure he is getting enough iron...so I also used my handheld blender to puree quinoa in with the squash/greens mixture and he loved it!

Breakfasts are a cinch..he absolutely loves apples and pears.  Mash up an avocado with banana and he will eat that all day long.  And I have recently discovered that he will pretty much eat anything with cinnamon sprinkled on top.

The best appliances for the job are a steamer...I even steamed dried prunes the other day to soften them up and pureed with some apples. And my handheld blender...it works the absolute best (better than my large and small food processors and blender) for creamy baby food.

My goal is to get into some kind of system where I only cook once a week and freeze a weeks worth of different meals so I am not scrambling to make something.  So far so good...and soon enough he will be able to start eating what we eat...but in the meantime, I am enjoying cooking for my baby and I feel good about doing it....I even eat the leftovers if there are any : )

If you have the time a great reference book that one of my amazingly wonderful friends/supermom gave me is called Superfoods for Babies and Children it has given me lots of great ideas and helped ease me into the process.  Certainly doesn't hurt to pick up a book if you are a new mom and have absolutely zero idea how to make baby food.....on that note...babe is now crying for his mommy. Enjoy.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Artichoke Fun!

The other day I was shopping at Capers/Whole Foods and I saw these big beautiful artichoke globes. They were on sale and so I had to buy a couple.  I remember my mom making these when we were young...but have not had em since.  Yes I have had them out of a jar or can...but fresh and warm...such a different experience.

I first washed and trimmed them up a bit and boiled them in a small amount of water with a garlic clove, lemon slices and a bay leaf...I checked them after 25mins, but they were not yet ready....I gave em another 10mins and then I tugged on one of the leaves towards the center (with tongs) and it came out easily.  I drained them upside down for a few minutes and then served em up on plates for Ivan and I.

They were so fun to eat...something different for sure.  You basically pluck each leaf and then pull them in between your teeth so you scrape off the tender "meat".  I made up a quick lemony mayo (organic mayo, lemon zest, lemon juice and pepper) and we dipped each leaf in the creamy sauce and then ate away.  Ivan said it was kind of like eating popcorn.  I would def serve these as a starter for a dinner party...kind of a conversation piece and super fun to eat.  The best part is when you get to the center (heart) and you scoop out the fuzzy top and enjoy the heart with your fork and knife...its like a little hidden treasure that is so tender and has such a delicate flavor.

These babies are in season now...so try em out and Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Preppy Mom

The other day I had an audition. I have had the tips of my toes dangling in the world of commercial acting for ohhh about 7 years now.  A pretty unsuccessful 7 years I might add. But now that I am on Maternity leave, I have given my agent the go ahead to get me out to auditions as much as possible.  So the interesting thing is you are sent a "breakdown" of the character and what they are looking for...ex. Tall good-looking, fit black man 30-35yrs old.....short, Caucasian woman with warm eyes 40-50yrs etc etc.  I always find it interesting to read these descriptions to see exactly how my agent perceives me.  So this particular commercial breakdown was looking for two different Caucasian actresses. 

#1-Sexy bombshell early 30s

Whoop whoop...that's me to a tee..isn't it....uhhh oh wait a sec...then I see that my agent has submitted me for:

#2 - Preppy mom-late 30s 

Really?...Really?!...I am not even mid Thirties yet...and yes I may be a mom, but my baby is only 6 months....does this automatically transition me out of sexy bombshell into the "mom" category.  I suppose the leftover mashed yams that are stuck on my shirt may have given it away...or perhaps its the bit of spit up on my white militant nursing bra? Maybe its the fact that I have been wearing the same jogging pants and tank top for the past 4 days that was a clue.  Either way...having a baby is more than worth moving into the late 30s preppy mom category.....but I will be the cutest damn preppy mom they ever did see.
Enjoy.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Classic...Kindergarten Cop???

Having a child changes you permanently....its like a new part in your brain, body and heart grows...a part that simply could never exist without experiencing children.  What has inspired me to write this email...I just sat through Kindergarten Cop, and bawled through most of it....not something I would have done in the past...who the eff bawls during Kindergarten Cop?!  This is what I mean by the permanent change...its truly physiological.

I was really not interested in other peoples children before....sure they were kinda cute (some of them)...but mostly an annoyance really.   Loud, smelly, annoying (did I already mention that)...the older ones obnoxious...telling stupid jokes that I couldn't even be bothered to muster up a fake laugh for. It also meant my friends who had em rapidly adopted a new circle of friends because they couldn't get a babysitter/were sick/were tired...were parents. I simply preferred drinking wine, eating at awesome restaurants and traveling the world with my husband.

If it weren't for that "ticking clock" syndrome that many of us thirty-something gals have....I could have waited easily another 10-15 years to have kids...but alas my eggs could not. And now...well, I wouldn't change it for the world.

So...in the spirit of being that parent who stays at home every night because we have no babysitter/tired...I decided to watch Kindergarten Cop (aka nothing else on the tube) and because I now have a son who I love more than anything on this planet (except for his father of course) I find anything to do with children fascinating and adorable....okay and I am sure the post-natal hormones had something to do with it too. Plus Arnold Schwarzenegger holds a special spot in our hearts now, because our son Dutch was named after his character in Predator...yes, I am serious. Those darn kids in that movie are totally hilarious and I could just picture our little guy saying some of those silly things that those kids did...if you haven't watched it in a while, I highly recommend it ( I can't believe I just said that) I'm still not super crazy about other peoples kids...but I can certainly appreciate how loved they are by their parents...because I know they have been changed too.

Being a mommy doesn't mean that the wine, restaurants and travel have to stop...it just means 2 glasses vs 2 bottles, Swiss Chalet vs. VJs and trips to Calgary vs. Peru. It is now 9:30pm and I am tired...and I think I will go to bed.

Sweet Dreams and Enjoy

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Co-Sleeping Bliss

It seems almost the moment you get pregnant people start to judge...or provide you with their unsolicited opinions on everything....

Oh you are pregnant...congrats...make sure you walk every day...don't walk too much because you will get exhausted.  Don't eat spicy foods because it will irritate the baby.....eat spicy foods so the baby will enjoy a variety of foods.  OMG is she drinking a glass of wine while she is pregnant....OMG she isn't even drinking wine while pregnant she is wayy too uptight.....AGGGGGGG...and this is just where it alllll begins.  Once the baby arrives its 10x worse!

Our little Dutchman would NOT sleep at all when he was born, unless he was held.  We tried everything...I would nurse him to sleep and we would gingerly place him in the bassinet and just as we were closing our eyes...WAAAAAAAA.  We tried rocking the bassinet...putting it into the bathroom with the fan on (the white noise thing)..putting the bassinet in another room..playing music...using the blow dryer ...this one actually worked...until you shut it off.  So we basically took shifts during the night...Ivan would sit in the rocking chair for 2-3 hrs rocking the little prince while I tried to sleep and then we would switch and we did this for 5 weeks straight.  When Grandma was here, she would take a shift as well.

We got advice from everyone..and this time we were asking for it...and we tried everything everyone suggested...the swing..sleeping in the car seat, going for a car ride a walk in the stroller...until one day, I decided to bring him into bed with me..and guess what...he SLEPT...I SLEPT and Daddy SLEPT! It was like we had discovered a miracle....can you blame the little angel...almost 10 months in mamas cozy womb..of course he just wanted to be close.  I had not wanted to try the co-sleeping arrangement because so many people spoke negatively about it...but once I started telling people that we had him in the bed with us, the more and more we heard our friends were doing the same thing. 

Yes at first we were very nervous that we might roll over on him or pull the covers up too high...but I think its like parents have a sixth sense about this kind of thing.  It was a little uncomfortable, because I couldn't roll around..and I was always aware of his presence even in my sleep...but the key is...I was sleeping...which I think made me a better momma the next day because I wasn't a zombie. 

People were certainly very very judgemental about this...I got to the point I didn't want to share with others that we were co-sleeping because we would get these shocked looks, and the Oh my, you must stop doing that immediately...or I knew a girl, who's brothers, sisters, mother rolled on their child etc etc...you get the point.  You are spoiling the baby....its unhealthy...blah blah blah....I think the one lesson I have learned from the short amount of time I have been a mama is not to judge other parents.

We continued to co-sleep with our little Dutch for 5 months and now he sleeps in his crib....and I miss him terribly.  I absolutely LOVED falling asleep beside him...his smell...the little noises he made and when I would drowsily awake during the night and see this perfect little cherub sleeping so peacefully beside me...well my heart couldn't have grown much bigger then at that very moment.

We chose to co-sleep with our baby out of necessity...but looking back...I wouldn't have had it any other way.  It was one of the most special times in my life and now it is gone forever...such a brief moment in time and an experience that I will cherish forever. 

Whatever works for you and your family is okay with me...just be sure to Enjoy.

Monday, April 16, 2012

The right choice for us

So I found it very interesting after giving birth to Dutch the sequence of comments and events that occurred.  First of all there was soooo much controversy about us choosing not to get medically induced to speed up the birth (as you will see from my previous blog entries) and everyone had their opinion.  If it had of been any other Doctor I am certain they would have dropped us as patients...so I do have to give a huge kudos to Dr. McLauchlin for honoring our wishes.  She was not happy about it at all...but she had no choice....its fascinating that people think its illegal or something to go against what your doctor says...but remember its your body, and sometimes these "rules or recommendations" are put in place because of lack of knowledge or fear of lawsuit...and of course I will not rule out potential risks.  But if you think about it logically, no two pregnancies are alike..even if by the same mother...so why in the world would you make a rule of 10 days post due = induction via drugs.  Anyway, I wont harp any longer on the matter.....so back to the birth room...some things I found interesting:

1) As soon as Dutch was born my Doctor exclaimed  how healthy and great he looked and that he didn't look like 18 days overdue at all (not that she had ever seen a baby 18 days overdue..as she stated...perhaps she thought he would have two heads or something)

2) Doctor said..hmmm maybe we should go back and review those ultra-sound results..maybe the dates were wrong

3) My Doula overheard the Pediatrician and our Doc in discussions afterwards and the Pediatrician was shocked and wanted to know how in the world I was allowed to go 18 days past my due date and was casting an accusatory voice at our Doctor who defended us and had to back pedal by saying we were travelling when I got pregnant and we weren't sure of the dates etc...

All of these factors, plus my perfectly healthy little boy are evidence that we made the right decision to wait for Dutch to arrive when he was good and ready...and it was well worth the wait.

Now the debate on Vaccines...ugggggg this I certainly do not enjoy!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Birth-My Way

Wow...5 months since I have written an entry...wanting to and thinking about doing so everyday...but WHO has the time to blog when they have a new baby?!  As I can see from my last entry...I was 14 days overdue by that point and going crazy with the waiting...not knowing when baby was going to come...battling with our doctor to not induce birth and avoiding speaking to everyone and anyone who had an opinion about waiting so long (which was pretty much everyone)....and our little baby waited until 18 long days after the due date!!!!  It was the longest my Doctor had ever seen anyone go, and same with our Doula...and it was emotionally draining...but Ivan and I knew it was the right thing to do for us.

The days kept passing by, and I continued with my prenatal yoga and our daily walks and felt excellent.  My mom and dad returned from their cruise (excited because they thought they would miss babies arrival...but really arrived just in time) and we enjoyed a dinner together here, but we had asked them to spend the night at a hotel...just in case I went into labor...and at around 1am on October 17 I began to get a tummy ache....at first I thought it was gas pains...or some sort of plumbing issues...but after an hour I realized that FINALLY these were my first contractions...whoop whoop!!!!  I tried not to get too excited, as I had read and researched much about the birth process and didn't want to exhaust myself....I knew I had a long night and day ahead of me.

The contractions were mild throughout the night, but uncomfortable enough not to let me lie down...so I spent most of the night in the rocking chair, on the floor and on the couch...trying not to disturb Ivan so at least he could get some sleep. I started timing them, but they were anywhere from 5 to 15mins apart...I knew not to panic.

I was so excited to call my amazing  Doula Candice from Cherish Childbirth the next morning to let her know I was finally in labour...but managed to hold off until around 8am.  She advised me that I could very likely have contractions for many hours, so to go about my day as usual...get lots of sleep, eat lots of good food and call her later to keep her posted....just as I hung up the phone I felt my water break!  So I called her back and she explained this was likely going to speed the process up and that my contractions may now come more intensely....but to still try to enjoy the day etc...

Ivan made me a giant bowl of oatmeal and that was pretty much the last thing I ate over the next 18hrs...had I of know that I would have eaten a pizza for breakfast too..hahah.   Well I tried to relax, but the contractions were coming stronger after a few hours...we attempted to go for a walk, but it was really slow going and I felt a little strange and uncomfortable stopping every few minutes to pant like a dog and groan like a mad woman in front of people on the street.  So after about 2 blocks we turned around and went home.

I had read so much about the birth process in Ina May Gaskins books and learned so many cool techniques on how to experience contractions from prenatal yoga...but everyone said all of that would go out the window when it actually happens.....but it didn't for me.  Everything came back to me and with my amazing husband Ivan...we went through all of the breathing, and exercise techniques and sitting here writing about it brings on a sort of pride...I feel proud of how we experienced our labor and birth.

By noon the contractions were coming closer together and I felt it was time to call Candice who came over around 1pm.  I tried laboring in the shower which felt nice for a while and then switched and went back to the rocking chair where I was able to get myself into a sort of meditative state, drifting in and out of sleep between waves.....by around 3 or 4 (bit of a blurr) my waves were so sporadic...some coming only 1 min apart and I was now feeling the urge to "take a dump" sorry to be so graphic...but there really is no other way to describe the feeling.  Candice knew it was time to head to the hospital....this made me nervous, because I know many women go there too early thinking they are dilated, only to be sent home... .but they calmed my fears and off we went...sporting an ever sexy robe, and slippers....I don't think I could ever of cared a less about my appearance at that moment in my life...needless to say the hospital photos were not so cute.

Once in the hospital they popped me onto a table as I moaned and groaned through my waves...they wanted to check to see how far along I was... I laid on the bed listening to a gal next to me screaming at the top of her lungs...only to have the nurse say...sorry dear, you are only 3 cm's.  So I was completely relieved when I was told I was already at 5.....they promptly prepared a room for me.  The next few hours were spent slowly walking the halls and in the big soaker tub. Ivan and Candice were such an amazing team, feeding me tiny bits of crackers with jam and little sips of water.  They massaged me and cheered me on and I certainly appreciated everything they did. It had been hours since I had my oatmeal for breakfast and if the effin pain wasn't so effin bad I could have eaten 10 pizzas!  Just when I thought I had reached my maximum tolerance, the doc checked me and I was fully dilated....I let out a celebratory wooo hoooo as I had achieved my desire!! 

And so... the pushing began. I felt I was a pretty good pusher...it was kind of hard to do though...something that you really can't be taught...but I LOVED when they brought in the giant mirror that they placed by my feet so I could see my progress....the pushing part was the most difficult...and nothing really seemed to be happening after a few hours so I tried about 6 or 7 different positions...still the progress was very slow....so slow in fact that my contractions began to slow down from every minute to every 15mins...then every 20mins so I was taking one step forward and two steps back.  Eventually our lovely Doctor said "Heather, I know you are totally against taking any drugs...but it has now been over 4hrs of pushing and this baby isn't coming...your contractions have slowed down and are too far apart and I don't want to end up having to use other methods to get the baby out (aka C-section, forceps or vacuum etc) so I am suggesting we give you a tiny shot of oxytocin to speed the contractions up and bring them closer together...and the baby will be out in 20mins."  This was a lot to digest...I was mentally and physically exhausted, but so happy that our very understanding Doctor was doing her best to honor my wishes and give me a choice.  I asked everyone to leave the hospital room so I could discuss the options with Ivan and Candice...and it almost felt like my contractions had completely left the building...so I finally agreed to take the smallest amount she could possibly give me...and true to her word...the contractions sped up...I regained momentum and our precious little Dutch Dennison Cermak was born about 20mins later at 2:31am October 18th 2011....most memorable experience of my entire life.

As I sit here holding my beautiful little boy on my lap...I know babies were made purely to enjoy!