My life has become chaotic....not that it wasn't before, but now the only way I can feel slightly calm and normal is if my house is somewhat clean. This may sound weird...and for those who know me well....they know I am not a very good housekeeper, but I want my home to be clean daily. Staring at a counter full of dirty dishes...splatters of milk, blueberries, tomato sauce...smears of avocado and jam on the table and floor all make me want to cry. That is why each evening I try (and try to get my husband) to leave the kitchen (in the very least) sparkling clean. I want to wake up to a clean kitchen.....I wish I could wake up to everything clean, but no such luck. With a toddler and a 5 week old, if I am lucky enough to put my underwear on facing the right way, I consider the day a success (I usually wear a thong, so you'd think this would be an easy task).
My 23 month old son Dutch has found the transition to having a new brother a bit difficult. He burst into tears the moment we brought Maclayne home from the hospital, but quickly re-assessed and started offering hugs and kisses to his new baby brother. I think this was an act to get us to believe he was okay with it, so I wouldn't notice each time he pokes, pinches or smacks the baby. This is a daily occurrence....and when I raise my voice and say be gentle...Dutch quickly offers up hugs and kisses. I turn my back and his finger is in Maclaynes eye...or mouth or heading up his nose. The other day I was attempting to prepare a meal...things were awfully quiet so I turned around to see Dutch sharing his cereal with Maclayne....he had a puff (as we call them) half way into the babes mouth with about 25 others scattered on the floor around him.....I just about shit myself. I yelled, scared both kids, who immediately began crying and tried to explain to Dutch that the baby was too young to eat cereal, but Thank You for sharing just the same. He just stared at me blankly...probably thinking...lady if you know whats good for you, back away and let me decide whats good for this kid.
I was chatting with a girlfriend about this the other day and how Dutch has taken the transition quite hard. We decided it would be a similar situation if our husbands all of a sudden came home with another wife. Walked in the door with some bizzle named Candy who happened to be way younger and cuter. Damn rights I would be jealous..and want to poke her in the eye too!
All in all, life with two boys is quite lovely. You can't buy that feeling when your little guy wraps his chubby little arms around your neck and gives you a hug....or when your baby offers up a little smile (even though its probably gas). I'll take the chaos in exchange for the beautiful moments I get with my family...they will pass by so quickly so today and everyday I will Enjoy!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
A Beautiful Birth
After re-reading my last blog, I can tell I was really in a state of mental flux.....and I am so happy to report that after a huge hormonal cry that evening with my husband, labour began the very next day!!!!! I was so worried baby number two was going to take as long as Dutch did.....but after six days post term I felt my first signs of pre-labour that morning. The slight cramping began around 5am, but I thought it was just gas pains....so continued sleeping. Our son Dutch must have known we had a big day ahead of us, as he slept in until 8am. When I got up to get him from his crib, I felt the familiar twinge in my tummy and knew this was going to be the day our baby was born!
I casually advised Ivan "we are going to have our baby today....I am pretty sure I am in labour". I was calm about everything and we decided to wait a while before calling mom and dad....after an hour or so, tummy twinging away, we packed up Dutchies things for a sleepover at Nana and Papas......poor thing didn't have a clue that the next time he would see us it would be with his sibling....he was just too young to understand.
So while Ivan drove Dutch over, and my contractions carried on getting a little more intense bit by bit, I decided to distract myself with a looooong shower. Going into labour the second time is awesome, because you totally know what to expect....even though some things are different...the basics are the same. So this time I wanted to arrive at the hospital with freshly washed and done hair and some actual clothes. I say this because last time I had zero idea what to expect and ended driving to the hospital in my husbands robe, some slippers and greecy hair...needless to say, the "new baby hospital photos" were never shown to anyone...nor will they ever be. I wanted this birth to be different...I wanted to be in control of my experience and so I enjoyed my shower, blow dried my hair and even put on a tad of make up. I felt great....it was a wonderful start to the day and to my labour! Ivan had advised I should eat a good breakfast to maintain my energy (he remembered this from last time) so I went about preparing some yummy french toast with bacon...stopping every now and then to lean against the counter and breathe through a contraction.
We enjoyed our feast and then I wanted to go for a walk to get things moving along....it was a beautiful day and so we strolled along the park path hand in hand chatting away, and after a while things really started getting intense. I had to stop every few minutes to put my arms around Ivans neck and sway back and fourth while breathing through my contractions. Then we ran into our neighbours which was pretty funny as they stopped to chat and I crumpled into Ivans side....the wife quickly realizing what was going on, as Ivan says "uh....we are sort of in the middle of something here" ...everyone chuckled (except for me) and they carry on. Ivan had been timing my contractions and by this point we were starting to see a pattern. I no longer wished to be in public so we head home and continue to labour there. My goal like last time was to be 7 cm dialiated by the time we went to the hospital....with Dutch I was 5.
Ivan was such a great birth coach....we decided against hiring a doula this time as we both felt we knew what we were getting ourselves into and that we would make a great team on our own....and that we were! After timing my consistant contractions for about an hour...the intensity was really building and so off to the hospital we went. We arrived, and I think I scared everyone in sight as I was basically stopping every few minutes by this point to grunt, moan...well...yell through a contraction. Everyone we passed offered me a wheel chair.....but I chose to walk...I wanted to make sure I was far enough along....didn't want to be sent home with them telling me I was only 2 cms....I expressed my worries to the nurse checking me in...and she said, "Dear, there is no way you are only 2 cms". And right they were, as they advised..."get this girl a wheelchair, and get her to a room fast as she is already at 8cm"! Whoopie....I was thrilled...my spirits were high and it was super fun being pushed around in a wheelchair!
I met my birth team....two amazing women! My nurse Pushpa and Dr. McLean. Pushpa had been trained as a midwife, but had practiced as a nurse for the past 40 yrs and was just about to retire. Her shift was just about to end when I came in so she decided to stay and I am so glad she did...she was amazing. She offered an epidural, and was shocked when I said no way. Afterwards telling me that over 90% of women she sees get one. She offered some amazing breathing techniques to help me through the pain and Ivan assisted me in the shower which felt amazing....I remained at 9 and then 9.5 cms for 1.5hrs and was starting to get worried that it was going to last forever....Pushpa could see I was getting a bit scared as the pain was so intense so she offered me some laughing gas...this is something I hadn't considered before.....and so I decided to try it out. She explained that when you get scared, you get into your head and things clamp up downstairs and progress moves slowly....I was all for getting this baby out, so I breathed in that gas like you wouldn't believe. It didn't really decrease the pain...but it did chill me out a bit....and when I stood up to move around, my water broke and a few minutes later I KNEW the baby was there and it was time to push. Everyone scrambled for the Doc to come check me....I wanted to punch everyone as I KNEW not only was I fully dilated, but the baby was banging at the door.....which Doctor McLean confirmed with some surprise and three pushes later (like I'm talkin 5mins) our beautiful baby boy was born!!!!!!!
I love love love that they put the new baby right on your chest immediately after its born....its got to be the most special, beautiful, joyful thing in all the world.....I wish you could capture that feeling so everyone could experience it....I am so lucky I have had it twice in my lifetime. It's something to truly Enjoy!
I casually advised Ivan "we are going to have our baby today....I am pretty sure I am in labour". I was calm about everything and we decided to wait a while before calling mom and dad....after an hour or so, tummy twinging away, we packed up Dutchies things for a sleepover at Nana and Papas......poor thing didn't have a clue that the next time he would see us it would be with his sibling....he was just too young to understand.
So while Ivan drove Dutch over, and my contractions carried on getting a little more intense bit by bit, I decided to distract myself with a looooong shower. Going into labour the second time is awesome, because you totally know what to expect....even though some things are different...the basics are the same. So this time I wanted to arrive at the hospital with freshly washed and done hair and some actual clothes. I say this because last time I had zero idea what to expect and ended driving to the hospital in my husbands robe, some slippers and greecy hair...needless to say, the "new baby hospital photos" were never shown to anyone...nor will they ever be. I wanted this birth to be different...I wanted to be in control of my experience and so I enjoyed my shower, blow dried my hair and even put on a tad of make up. I felt great....it was a wonderful start to the day and to my labour! Ivan had advised I should eat a good breakfast to maintain my energy (he remembered this from last time) so I went about preparing some yummy french toast with bacon...stopping every now and then to lean against the counter and breathe through a contraction.
We enjoyed our feast and then I wanted to go for a walk to get things moving along....it was a beautiful day and so we strolled along the park path hand in hand chatting away, and after a while things really started getting intense. I had to stop every few minutes to put my arms around Ivans neck and sway back and fourth while breathing through my contractions. Then we ran into our neighbours which was pretty funny as they stopped to chat and I crumpled into Ivans side....the wife quickly realizing what was going on, as Ivan says "uh....we are sort of in the middle of something here" ...everyone chuckled (except for me) and they carry on. Ivan had been timing my contractions and by this point we were starting to see a pattern. I no longer wished to be in public so we head home and continue to labour there. My goal like last time was to be 7 cm dialiated by the time we went to the hospital....with Dutch I was 5.
Ivan was such a great birth coach....we decided against hiring a doula this time as we both felt we knew what we were getting ourselves into and that we would make a great team on our own....and that we were! After timing my consistant contractions for about an hour...the intensity was really building and so off to the hospital we went. We arrived, and I think I scared everyone in sight as I was basically stopping every few minutes by this point to grunt, moan...well...yell through a contraction. Everyone we passed offered me a wheel chair.....but I chose to walk...I wanted to make sure I was far enough along....didn't want to be sent home with them telling me I was only 2 cms....I expressed my worries to the nurse checking me in...and she said, "Dear, there is no way you are only 2 cms". And right they were, as they advised..."get this girl a wheelchair, and get her to a room fast as she is already at 8cm"! Whoopie....I was thrilled...my spirits were high and it was super fun being pushed around in a wheelchair!
I met my birth team....two amazing women! My nurse Pushpa and Dr. McLean. Pushpa had been trained as a midwife, but had practiced as a nurse for the past 40 yrs and was just about to retire. Her shift was just about to end when I came in so she decided to stay and I am so glad she did...she was amazing. She offered an epidural, and was shocked when I said no way. Afterwards telling me that over 90% of women she sees get one. She offered some amazing breathing techniques to help me through the pain and Ivan assisted me in the shower which felt amazing....I remained at 9 and then 9.5 cms for 1.5hrs and was starting to get worried that it was going to last forever....Pushpa could see I was getting a bit scared as the pain was so intense so she offered me some laughing gas...this is something I hadn't considered before.....and so I decided to try it out. She explained that when you get scared, you get into your head and things clamp up downstairs and progress moves slowly....I was all for getting this baby out, so I breathed in that gas like you wouldn't believe. It didn't really decrease the pain...but it did chill me out a bit....and when I stood up to move around, my water broke and a few minutes later I KNEW the baby was there and it was time to push. Everyone scrambled for the Doc to come check me....I wanted to punch everyone as I KNEW not only was I fully dilated, but the baby was banging at the door.....which Doctor McLean confirmed with some surprise and three pushes later (like I'm talkin 5mins) our beautiful baby boy was born!!!!!!!
I love love love that they put the new baby right on your chest immediately after its born....its got to be the most special, beautiful, joyful thing in all the world.....I wish you could capture that feeling so everyone could experience it....I am so lucky I have had it twice in my lifetime. It's something to truly Enjoy!
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