It has been ages since I have been in public pool...and I hate them.....no, that word doesn't cover it...I actually despise them. We had decided to take our 10 month old swimming, since many of our friends had done so with their wee ones and said the kiddies just loved it.
I had kind of been putting it off...procrastinating...but unsure as to why. So we finally found a day that worked with our schedules, we packed up (which is a huge pain in the ass to pack for swimming myself, let alone a husband and baby) and off we went to a local Vancouver community pool.
We parked...all was well...then we got close to the main entrance and I started to get this panicky feeling as soon as I smelled the strong odor of chlorine.....but in we went....the disgusted comments I had made about the smell went unappreciated by my husband unfortunately. The lady at the front desk was so smiley and cheerful..."have a great time" she says, but I know secretly she is smirking behind her clean, dry desk...thinking you sick fucks....there is no way I would take my child into this pool.
Ivan and I part ways...me with child, and into the women's area we go to change and I really start to panic....not because of all the women in there with their 1970's jungle bushes crawling about... and not because of the saggy boobs (After becoming a mom, I no longer judge) not even because of the smell of wet, chlorinated bum....but the disgusting layer of warm, slime that coats the change room floor (I just barfed in my mouth)....you know it...you feel it....its kind of thick...and has lots of pubes and long dark hairs caught in it...all swirled about...not to mention the stray band-aids and general bits of grossness everywhere. I want to cry....I want to leave immediately...but my boy...must do it for the boy.
Clearly I must love my son a lot to do this for him...I remember when my mom used to take my brother and I to the YMCA or the family leisure center to swim...I hated it (and she confirmed this today). Shayne and I would play this disturbing game....so if you HAD to.....would you rather lick the floor of the leisure center or eat one of the floating band-aids (sick, twisted little shits we were). But this gives you some indication of how gross we think swimming pools are...or at least the change rooms.
Anyway, I lay my adorable little son on the gross bench while a group of Chinese women goo goo gaa gaa over him... I try to protect him from their naked butts and hairy moles. I manage to get into my bathing suit and lock up our stuff in the locker...I inserted the quarter and have one brief moment of happy nostalgia...whenever I had to wait for mom to have her shower after swimming, I would go around and feel the little slot in every locker looking for forgotten quarters...sometimes I would collect a whole dollar or two, and this apparently made the entire swimming experience worth it. Dutch and I scurry out into the pool area...where everyone is laughing and playing....and all I can think is, this is one giant disgusting bath filled with gross, dirty people who now think they are clean because they are in water....but my son LOVES it. He is squealing with delight...daddy throws him up in the air and then dips his chubby little toes in the water and he giggles away. He crawls through the shallow end, and splashes himself...we take him over to the little lazy river and float around and around and he is in his glory. It's really adorable, I am actually glad we came.
We enjoy playing with the little dude splish splashing away....he had so much fun....and we did too. But now, my hubby and I are done...ready to leave...the fun has worn off and I felt like I had made enough sacrifice for one day/week/year. Uggggg....back to the dreaded change rooms. We quickly shower and head into that damn women's change room and....( you may barf if you have a weak stomach) I swear I saw an effin blood clot on the floor....I seriously almost fainted. I grabbed our shit out of the locker and put my dry clothes over my wet bathing suit as I couldn't bear to stay in there a moment longer....I can't even begin to analyze what I just said above...I don't want to...I will be haunted forever.
Is there a moral to this story...hmmmmm....well...I guess having kids sure makes you do a lot of gross shit that you really don't want to do, but you love them so much, you do it anyway.
Enjoy.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Hawksworth Restaurant in Vancouver
I have been spoiling myself a bit lately with some fabulous Vancouver dining!
Hubby and I had a date night a few weeks ago as Gran and Gramps were in town to babysit...wooo hooo! It was so overwhelming trying to decide where to go...I felt like we had one chance to pick something amazing...and ALL of the places I have been DYING to try just fluttered out of my brain....too many choices and Heather shuts down.
So we decided on just starting off with a drink at the lounge of the Fairmont Pacific Rim which is an absolutely sumptuous hotel...wow. We sipped Blue Mountain bubbles and slurped back some cool Oysters. Divine way to start the night with my hubby. After that, the only new restaurant that I could think of that I had wanted to try was Hawksworth which apparently we were really lucky to get a table at, as none of my pals have been able to get a reso. We went spur of the moment for a late dinner, and were lucky I guess. Beautiful room...you just feel wealthy being there....we sipped more bubbles while we waited for our table. It was hard to decide on food, as everything sounded just splendid...but we settled on the caramelized squid to start, which was a smallish plate...but loaded with flavour and Ivan devoured the Rack of Pork...the largest dish on the menu (so the server said). It was fabulous. While I opted for something lighter, (why I don't know.....breastfeeding seems to require the appetite of Andre the Giant) the Sablefish was equally delish.
It's a pricey restaurant...but worth going once I think. I like that there are many different components to each of their dishes, and each separate component somehow seems to really tie the whole dish together. ex... generally I wouldn't think to put shiitake mushrooms with yams...but it works. I don't know why...but when I go to a "fancy" restaurant I really want them to have warm bread on the table with soft whipped butter. ...unfortunately Hawksworth does not share my version of fancy. Maybe my idea of fancy is wrong...or sounds like going to the Keg (I really do like their damn bread there...nothing else, but the bread)....so because I had ordered a "lighter" dish...and by light, I don't mean small...this is not one of those places that serves you three peas for $40.00....but the sable fish was more like a soup, and I did leave feeling like I could eat more....if you are breastfeeding...order the pork hahaha...anyway, I could have certainly enjoyed a bit of nice bread at the table as well.
All in all, a fabulous evening was had, and I hope if you go, you certainly Enjoy!
Hubby and I had a date night a few weeks ago as Gran and Gramps were in town to babysit...wooo hooo! It was so overwhelming trying to decide where to go...I felt like we had one chance to pick something amazing...and ALL of the places I have been DYING to try just fluttered out of my brain....too many choices and Heather shuts down.
So we decided on just starting off with a drink at the lounge of the Fairmont Pacific Rim which is an absolutely sumptuous hotel...wow. We sipped Blue Mountain bubbles and slurped back some cool Oysters. Divine way to start the night with my hubby. After that, the only new restaurant that I could think of that I had wanted to try was Hawksworth which apparently we were really lucky to get a table at, as none of my pals have been able to get a reso. We went spur of the moment for a late dinner, and were lucky I guess. Beautiful room...you just feel wealthy being there....we sipped more bubbles while we waited for our table. It was hard to decide on food, as everything sounded just splendid...but we settled on the caramelized squid to start, which was a smallish plate...but loaded with flavour and Ivan devoured the Rack of Pork...the largest dish on the menu (so the server said). It was fabulous. While I opted for something lighter, (why I don't know.....breastfeeding seems to require the appetite of Andre the Giant) the Sablefish was equally delish.
It's a pricey restaurant...but worth going once I think. I like that there are many different components to each of their dishes, and each separate component somehow seems to really tie the whole dish together. ex... generally I wouldn't think to put shiitake mushrooms with yams...but it works. I don't know why...but when I go to a "fancy" restaurant I really want them to have warm bread on the table with soft whipped butter. ...unfortunately Hawksworth does not share my version of fancy. Maybe my idea of fancy is wrong...or sounds like going to the Keg (I really do like their damn bread there...nothing else, but the bread)....so because I had ordered a "lighter" dish...and by light, I don't mean small...this is not one of those places that serves you three peas for $40.00....but the sable fish was more like a soup, and I did leave feeling like I could eat more....if you are breastfeeding...order the pork hahaha...anyway, I could have certainly enjoyed a bit of nice bread at the table as well.
All in all, a fabulous evening was had, and I hope if you go, you certainly Enjoy!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
A world of Distraction
I can't believe my little boy is already 10 months old...where has the time gone? Sound like a familiar statement from every single parent you have ever met...it does to me. I went to lunch today with some industry friends I used to work with today. We went to the Boathouse on Kits beach...always good/average food...but wow, what a beautiful location.
10 months ago, when I used to meet industry folks for lunch, I would rush into the restaurant, most likely coming from another meeting...I would barely see where I was walking, because I would be desperately trying to type out a message to some client in a panic, and if they didn't get an answer asap the world would really actually end. I would try my best to focus on lunch and the person I was sitting with but I often would have this nagging urge to check my blackberry. As soon as my companion went to the bathroom, I would whip out my bb, like some addict and quickly scroll through the messages...whats urgent...who needs a call....shit that person is sooo important, I gotta call them back asap.
Lunch companion returns..."would you excuse me I gotta make a call" Ahhhh...I feel much better now that I have resolved this issue....I've had my "fix" Now I can relax and enjoy lunch. My hair was tied back, my suit was on straight and my heels were too tight...the quintessential business woman.
Today, well....today was just slightly different. One of my industry friends is also on Maternity leave and so we brought our babies along for this lovely luncheon with our industry non-maternity leave girlfriends. Somehow, I don't feel like I got to catch up with any of them....
Dutch and I arrived at the restaurant 15mins early...because, well because that's what worked best with our schedule. We walked along the beach until he started to fuss....I was looking pretty cute in my bright orange denim and slinky stripped shirt...no one would have even noticed a baby strapped to my chest in the fluorescent green Ergo Baby. He starts to fuss...we head inside...I try walking around the restaurant to keep him calm...not calm...not calm at all...Okay...I wanted to save "the boob" for when the girls arrive...but he is absolutely not interested in my plan at all...he is saying...eff you mom, I don't give two shits that you are meeting your fancy ass friends for lunch...give me that effin boob pronto! Okay FINE child...insert boob here.
Ah peace and quiet...I enjoy the view for a few moments before my girlfriend and her baby arrive...We have a few seconds to say hello, then she has to get her little girl sorted out. Then the other gals show up...Dang, Dutchie is finished already! We start trying to catch up, but both babies start to fuss....I lay out a variety of carefully chopped up bits of food on the table in front of Dutch...he starts shoveling...there are bits of broccoli in his eye and on his shoulder and about 50 scraps on the floor...3 second rule...ummmm lets make it the 2 minute rule....clearly I have no sanitation issues....gotta build up that immune system right????
Its so lovely to see the girls...but they are on their bb's most of the time....one gal with her bluetooth glued to her pretty little head, ready to take that next call....and calls there were. We were all distracted with our own stuff. It was so surreal...I have only been away from the industry for such a short time...and now I have this tiny little monkey who brings me more joy than anything sucking up every ounce of my attention at this luncheon...but I am grateful...grateful that I have had the opportunity to step out of that role I have had for the past 8 years, and step into this new role....the most rewarding and challenging of my life....it can only make me a better person, and better at everything I do. A welcome distraction indeed.
Enjoy!
10 months ago, when I used to meet industry folks for lunch, I would rush into the restaurant, most likely coming from another meeting...I would barely see where I was walking, because I would be desperately trying to type out a message to some client in a panic, and if they didn't get an answer asap the world would really actually end. I would try my best to focus on lunch and the person I was sitting with but I often would have this nagging urge to check my blackberry. As soon as my companion went to the bathroom, I would whip out my bb, like some addict and quickly scroll through the messages...whats urgent...who needs a call....shit that person is sooo important, I gotta call them back asap.
Lunch companion returns..."would you excuse me I gotta make a call" Ahhhh...I feel much better now that I have resolved this issue....I've had my "fix" Now I can relax and enjoy lunch. My hair was tied back, my suit was on straight and my heels were too tight...the quintessential business woman.
Today, well....today was just slightly different. One of my industry friends is also on Maternity leave and so we brought our babies along for this lovely luncheon with our industry non-maternity leave girlfriends. Somehow, I don't feel like I got to catch up with any of them....
Dutch and I arrived at the restaurant 15mins early...because, well because that's what worked best with our schedule. We walked along the beach until he started to fuss....I was looking pretty cute in my bright orange denim and slinky stripped shirt...no one would have even noticed a baby strapped to my chest in the fluorescent green Ergo Baby. He starts to fuss...we head inside...I try walking around the restaurant to keep him calm...not calm...not calm at all...Okay...I wanted to save "the boob" for when the girls arrive...but he is absolutely not interested in my plan at all...he is saying...eff you mom, I don't give two shits that you are meeting your fancy ass friends for lunch...give me that effin boob pronto! Okay FINE child...insert boob here.
Ah peace and quiet...I enjoy the view for a few moments before my girlfriend and her baby arrive...We have a few seconds to say hello, then she has to get her little girl sorted out. Then the other gals show up...Dang, Dutchie is finished already! We start trying to catch up, but both babies start to fuss....I lay out a variety of carefully chopped up bits of food on the table in front of Dutch...he starts shoveling...there are bits of broccoli in his eye and on his shoulder and about 50 scraps on the floor...3 second rule...ummmm lets make it the 2 minute rule....clearly I have no sanitation issues....gotta build up that immune system right????
Its so lovely to see the girls...but they are on their bb's most of the time....one gal with her bluetooth glued to her pretty little head, ready to take that next call....and calls there were. We were all distracted with our own stuff. It was so surreal...I have only been away from the industry for such a short time...and now I have this tiny little monkey who brings me more joy than anything sucking up every ounce of my attention at this luncheon...but I am grateful...grateful that I have had the opportunity to step out of that role I have had for the past 8 years, and step into this new role....the most rewarding and challenging of my life....it can only make me a better person, and better at everything I do. A welcome distraction indeed.
Enjoy!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
I Salute You Single Parents!
So yesterday was day #1 of being on my own with baby Dutch. I haven't been on my own with the little guy without some sort of help from Ivan or family since he was born, and it was a magnificent day. Ivan left early Friday morning for a soccer tournament/boozefest/golf/awayfrommykidandwifeahhhhhhh long weekend. Bugger.
Anyway, yesterday was bright and sunny so after Dutchies first nap I strapped him into the Ergo baby and we hopped on the bus headed for downtown!!! It was the first time taking Dutch on a bus....not my favorite mode of transport by any stretch...however, Ivan has the car and I wanted to take baby on an adventure. Bus went okay....I had to pop a boob in his mouth...but that just fixes everything....men..sheesh! We went for a visit to where I used to work, where Dutch was quickly swept up in ooogles and kisses by the ladies in the office. We stayed for about an hour then headed for some shade under a tree so little mister could have some lunch. After that, mama was hungry so I stopped at a food truck on Burrard called Tacofino and treated myself to a scrumptious seared tuna taco that was so perfect, I suggest you go. The burritos looked amazing, but they were HUGE and I wasn't so hungry (surprise). Then we popped back on the bus and headed for home....it was such a lovely day, and we both went to bed happy and completely pooped.
Day #2....not so dazzling. Dutchie decided to wake up at 6:15am this morning..and after attempting to let him "cry it out" for a while, the cries did not "out" so up I dragged myself...plastering a smile on my face in order to greet my screaming child. My eyes are still fuzzy, I trip on a toy....I am not happy...but coochie-coochie-coo baby....lets greet the day my little goo goo gaga. I s-l-o-w-l-y walk us through our usual morning routine....attempting to distract him from boob for a few minutes until he demands to be fed immediately. So fed, he is!
Its too early on a Saturday to go out anywhere, as nothing will be open, so we play, and we play and we play...in between the uhhhh NO Dutchie don't climb on the fireplace, play- play.....NO Dutch, stay away from daddies home-made screen door, play- play, DUTCH...NO, don't put your fingers in the fan...play- play -play AHHHHH Dutch, don't try to climb up on the ledge..your gonna hurt yourself.....waaaaaaaaaaaaa. See I told you. I feel so bad telling him no all the time...but condo living + baby = NO NO NO. That will be changing soon!
Finally ...three hours later, its time for Dutchies first nap...ahhhhhhh peace at last...oh wait, I have 4 piles of laundry to do...I'll quickly throw one load in then sit and relax and read my smutty book....okay laundry in....oh shit...I forgot to clean up his highchair and surrounding area...don't want the food to get stuck on...then Ill sit and read....okay done. I grab for my smutty 50 Shades of Gray to see what sort of kinky sex Christian and Ana are going to have today...WAAAAAAA Mutha Fuck....REALLY Dutch...REALLY...you have been sleeping for only 20mins??? What happened to your hour long naps, clearly you know your father is out of town and you are trying to brainwash me via rest deprivation. Uggggg okay..until later Christian.
Dutch is up an at em, so we head out in the stroller to Whole Foods for a delicious muffin which we take down to Kits beach. Dutchie plays on the grass, pulling up the leaves and flowers and putting them in his mouth...I let him, because I am eating a delicious muffin....waa waaa...okay ready to go are you. We quickly fit in a few errands and head back home for a late lunch. It is now after 3pm and Dutchie is cranky and appears to be ready for a nap. He is down and out for the count within minutes....I am EXHAUSTED...so I crawl into bed myself to try and catch a few zeees....WAAA WAAAAA....NO, no please....I was Just drifting off WAAAAAAA....yet another 25 minute nap..what is going ON! Must be teething AGAIN.....and now I am not happy mom, and no matter what you do for the rest of the day, you will not be able to make me happy....groan. I sure hope my husband is having a good time..bugger.
Mr. Dutch basically cried and whimpered from 4pm until bed time....I wanted to pull my hair out....I have never thought about Divorce until now......but I seriously seriously do NOT know how single parents do this...its only been two days...and I have two more to go. If you are a single parent...for gods sake please live near your family or hire help. FUCK I forgot about the laundry...mmmmmm it smells like soggy feet.
My one saving grace is my little boy before bath time..its the best...when he gets all in the rudey nudey...gives his little hammer a yank to make sure its still there, then giggles away....I get tears thinking how lucky I really am...(I also get tears because the diaper genie effin wreaks). He plays like a champion in the bath...splish splashin away and gives me a slobbery, open mouth kiss on my chin, then tries to bite it....seriously I couldn't love anyone or anything more than I love my son in this moment.
He goes to sleep quickly....I think its been an exhausting day for both of us (Ivan...don't you even dare complain about your sore back after all your soccer games...you are soooo sending me to the spa when you get home).
I salute you single parents!
Enjoy.
Anyway, yesterday was bright and sunny so after Dutchies first nap I strapped him into the Ergo baby and we hopped on the bus headed for downtown!!! It was the first time taking Dutch on a bus....not my favorite mode of transport by any stretch...however, Ivan has the car and I wanted to take baby on an adventure. Bus went okay....I had to pop a boob in his mouth...but that just fixes everything....men..sheesh! We went for a visit to where I used to work, where Dutch was quickly swept up in ooogles and kisses by the ladies in the office. We stayed for about an hour then headed for some shade under a tree so little mister could have some lunch. After that, mama was hungry so I stopped at a food truck on Burrard called Tacofino and treated myself to a scrumptious seared tuna taco that was so perfect, I suggest you go. The burritos looked amazing, but they were HUGE and I wasn't so hungry (surprise). Then we popped back on the bus and headed for home....it was such a lovely day, and we both went to bed happy and completely pooped.
Day #2....not so dazzling. Dutchie decided to wake up at 6:15am this morning..and after attempting to let him "cry it out" for a while, the cries did not "out" so up I dragged myself...plastering a smile on my face in order to greet my screaming child. My eyes are still fuzzy, I trip on a toy....I am not happy...but coochie-coochie-coo baby....lets greet the day my little goo goo gaga. I s-l-o-w-l-y walk us through our usual morning routine....attempting to distract him from boob for a few minutes until he demands to be fed immediately. So fed, he is!
Its too early on a Saturday to go out anywhere, as nothing will be open, so we play, and we play and we play...in between the uhhhh NO Dutchie don't climb on the fireplace, play- play.....NO Dutch, stay away from daddies home-made screen door, play- play, DUTCH...NO, don't put your fingers in the fan...play- play -play AHHHHH Dutch, don't try to climb up on the ledge..your gonna hurt yourself.....waaaaaaaaaaaaa. See I told you. I feel so bad telling him no all the time...but condo living + baby = NO NO NO. That will be changing soon!
Finally ...three hours later, its time for Dutchies first nap...ahhhhhhh peace at last...oh wait, I have 4 piles of laundry to do...I'll quickly throw one load in then sit and relax and read my smutty book....okay laundry in....oh shit...I forgot to clean up his highchair and surrounding area...don't want the food to get stuck on...then Ill sit and read....okay done. I grab for my smutty 50 Shades of Gray to see what sort of kinky sex Christian and Ana are going to have today...WAAAAAAA Mutha Fuck....REALLY Dutch...REALLY...you have been sleeping for only 20mins??? What happened to your hour long naps, clearly you know your father is out of town and you are trying to brainwash me via rest deprivation. Uggggg okay..until later Christian.
Dutch is up an at em, so we head out in the stroller to Whole Foods for a delicious muffin which we take down to Kits beach. Dutchie plays on the grass, pulling up the leaves and flowers and putting them in his mouth...I let him, because I am eating a delicious muffin....waa waaa...okay ready to go are you. We quickly fit in a few errands and head back home for a late lunch. It is now after 3pm and Dutchie is cranky and appears to be ready for a nap. He is down and out for the count within minutes....I am EXHAUSTED...so I crawl into bed myself to try and catch a few zeees....WAAA WAAAAA....NO, no please....I was Just drifting off WAAAAAAA....yet another 25 minute nap..what is going ON! Must be teething AGAIN.....and now I am not happy mom, and no matter what you do for the rest of the day, you will not be able to make me happy....groan. I sure hope my husband is having a good time..bugger.
Mr. Dutch basically cried and whimpered from 4pm until bed time....I wanted to pull my hair out....I have never thought about Divorce until now......but I seriously seriously do NOT know how single parents do this...its only been two days...and I have two more to go. If you are a single parent...for gods sake please live near your family or hire help. FUCK I forgot about the laundry...mmmmmm it smells like soggy feet.
My one saving grace is my little boy before bath time..its the best...when he gets all in the rudey nudey...gives his little hammer a yank to make sure its still there, then giggles away....I get tears thinking how lucky I really am...(I also get tears because the diaper genie effin wreaks). He plays like a champion in the bath...splish splashin away and gives me a slobbery, open mouth kiss on my chin, then tries to bite it....seriously I couldn't love anyone or anything more than I love my son in this moment.
He goes to sleep quickly....I think its been an exhausting day for both of us (Ivan...don't you even dare complain about your sore back after all your soccer games...you are soooo sending me to the spa when you get home).
I salute you single parents!
Enjoy.
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