Beauty Amongst Chaos

My life has become chaotic....not that it wasn't before, but now the only way I can feel slightly calm and normal is if my house is somewhat clean.  This may sound weird...and for those who know me well....they know I am not a very good housekeeper, but I want my home to be clean daily. Staring at a counter full of dirty dishes...splatters of milk, blueberries, tomato sauce...smears of avocado and jam on the table and floor all make me want to cry.  That is why each evening I try (and try to get my husband) to leave the kitchen (in the very least) sparkling clean. I want to wake up to a clean kitchen.....I wish I could wake up to everything clean, but no such luck.  With a toddler and a 5 week old, if I am lucky enough to put my underwear on facing the right way, I consider the day a success (I usually wear a thong, so you'd think this would be an easy task).

My 23 month old son Dutch has found the transition to having a new brother a bit difficult.  He burst into tears the moment we brought Maclayne home from the hospital, but quickly re-assessed and started offering hugs and kisses to his new baby brother.  I think this was an act to get us to believe he was okay with it, so I wouldn't notice each time he pokes, pinches or smacks the baby.  This is a daily occurrence....and when I raise my voice and say be gentle...Dutch quickly offers up hugs and kisses.  I turn my back and his finger is in Maclaynes eye...or mouth or heading up his nose. The other day I was attempting to prepare a meal...things were awfully quiet so I turned around to see Dutch sharing his cereal with Maclayne....he had a puff (as we call them) half way into the babes mouth with about 25 others scattered on the floor around him.....I just about shit myself.  I yelled, scared both kids, who immediately began crying and tried to explain to Dutch that the baby was too young to eat cereal, but Thank You for sharing just the same.  He just stared at me blankly...probably thinking...lady if you know whats good for you, back away and let me decide whats good for this kid.

I was chatting with a girlfriend about this the other day and how Dutch has taken the transition quite hard.  We decided it would be a similar situation if our husbands all of a sudden came home with another wife.  Walked in the door with some bizzle named Candy who happened to be way younger and cuter. Damn rights I would be jealous..and want to poke her in the eye too!

All in all, life with two boys is quite lovely.  You can't buy that feeling when your little guy wraps his chubby little arms around your neck and gives you a hug....or when your baby offers up a little smile (even though its probably gas).  I'll take the chaos in exchange for the beautiful moments I get with my family...they will pass by so quickly so today and everyday I will Enjoy!

 

A Beautiful Birth

After re-reading my last blog, I can tell I was really in a state of mental flux.....and I am so happy to report that after a huge hormonal cry that evening with my husband, labour began the very next day!!!!!  I was so worried baby number two was going to take as long as Dutch did.....but after six days post term I felt my first signs of pre-labour that morning.  The slight cramping began around 5am, but I thought it was just gas pains....so continued sleeping.  Our son Dutch must have known we had a big day ahead of us, as he slept in until 8am.  When I got up to get him from his crib, I felt the familiar twinge in my tummy and knew this was going to be the day our baby was born!

I casually advised Ivan "we are going to have our baby today....I am pretty sure I am in labour".  I was calm about everything and we decided to wait a while before calling mom and dad....after an hour or so, tummy twinging away, we packed up Dutchies things for a sleepover at Nana and Papas......poor thing didn't have a clue that the next time he would see us it would be with his sibling....he was just too young to understand.

So while Ivan drove Dutch over, and my contractions carried on getting a little more intense bit by bit, I decided to distract myself with a looooong shower.  Going into labour the second time is awesome, because you totally know what to expect....even though some things are different...the basics are the same.  So this time I wanted to arrive at the hospital with freshly washed and done hair and some actual clothes.  I say this because last time I had zero idea what to expect and ended driving to the hospital in my husbands robe, some slippers and greecy hair...needless to say, the "new baby hospital photos" were never shown to anyone...nor will they ever be.  I wanted this birth to be different...I wanted to be in control of my experience and so I enjoyed my shower, blow dried my hair and even put on a tad of make up.  I felt great....it was a wonderful start to the day and to my labour!  Ivan had advised I should eat a good breakfast to maintain my energy (he remembered this from last time) so I went about preparing some yummy french toast with bacon...stopping every now and then to lean against the counter and breathe through a contraction.

We enjoyed our feast and then I wanted to go for a walk to get things moving along....it was a beautiful day and so we strolled along the park path hand in hand chatting away, and after a while things really started getting intense.  I had to stop every few minutes to put my arms around Ivans neck and sway back and fourth while breathing through my contractions. Then we ran into our neighbours which was pretty funny as they stopped to chat and I crumpled into Ivans side....the wife quickly realizing what was going on, as Ivan says "uh....we are sort of in the middle of something here" ...everyone chuckled (except for me) and they carry on.  Ivan had been timing my contractions and by this point we were starting to see a pattern.  I no longer wished to be in public so we head home and continue to labour there.  My goal like last time was to be 7 cm dialiated by the time we went to the hospital....with Dutch I was 5. 

Ivan was such a great birth coach....we decided against hiring a doula this time as we both felt we knew what we were getting ourselves into and that we would make a great team on our own....and that we were!  After timing my consistant contractions for about an hour...the intensity was really building and so off to the hospital we went. We arrived, and I think I scared everyone in sight as I was basically stopping every few minutes by this point to grunt, moan...well...yell through a contraction.  Everyone we passed offered me a wheel chair.....but I chose to walk...I wanted to make sure I was far enough along....didn't want to be sent home with them telling me I was only 2 cms....I expressed my worries to the nurse checking me in...and she said, "Dear, there is no way you are only 2 cms".  And right they were, as they advised..."get this girl a wheelchair, and get her to a room fast as she is already at 8cm"!  Whoopie....I was thrilled...my spirits were high and it was super fun being pushed around in a wheelchair!

I met my birth team....two amazing women!  My nurse Pushpa and Dr. McLean.  Pushpa had been trained as a midwife, but had practiced as a nurse for the past 40 yrs and was just about to retire.  Her shift was just about to end when I came in so she decided to stay and I am so glad she did...she was amazing.  She offered an epidural, and was shocked when I said no way.  Afterwards telling me that over 90% of women she sees get one.  She offered some amazing breathing techniques to help me through the pain and Ivan assisted me in the shower which felt amazing....I remained at 9 and then 9.5 cms for 1.5hrs and was starting to get worried that it was going to last forever....Pushpa could see I was getting a bit scared as the pain was so intense so she offered me some laughing gas...this is something I hadn't considered before.....and so I decided to try it out.  She explained that when you get scared, you get into your head and things clamp up downstairs and progress moves slowly....I was all for getting this baby out, so I breathed in that gas like you wouldn't believe.  It didn't really decrease the pain...but it did chill me out a bit....and when I stood up to move around, my water broke and a few minutes later I KNEW the baby was there and it was time to push.  Everyone scrambled for the Doc to come check me....I wanted to punch everyone as I KNEW not only was I fully dilated, but the baby was banging at the door.....which Doctor McLean confirmed with some surprise and three pushes later (like I'm talkin 5mins) our beautiful baby boy was born!!!!!!!

I love love love that they put the new baby right on your chest immediately after its born....its got to be the most special, beautiful, joyful thing in all the world.....I wish you could capture that feeling so everyone could experience it....I am so lucky I have had it twice in my lifetime. It's something to truly Enjoy!

Almost 6 days post-term

Well it is 9:24pm and still no sign of baby.  I will be six days overdue tomorrow....sounds so short when you compare it with the 18 days post-term I was with our first!  Yet, discussions with doctors around this topic are uncomfortable.  I went in for my weekly check up yesterday and the doctor advised he would like to book me in for a labour induction on Monday (which would put me at their magical 10 days overdue point). I refused. We discussed from there....we discussed my first sons birth....and he was really flabbergasted that I went so long overdue....I advised it was my choice.  He was pleasant enough....told me all the worst case scenario shit that they have to....which sucks, because even though I know in my heart we are doing the right thing, its still very uncomfortable to hear all of the things that "could" happen.

But I have never lived my life by what "could" happen....I do my best not to worry about things, until there is something to worry about and if I lived my life by what "could" happen, I would be agoraphobic.  Anyway, I know they are just doing their job...but again it just seems crazy to me that they pick this 10 day date and say that all women/babies must be induced by that date OR ELSE.....du..du...duuuuuunnnnn.  I just can't imagine walking into the hospital with no signs of labour, getting hooked up to a bag of drugs so my body can be forced into labour....it just seems totally fucked up to me.

They also don't tell you the slippery slope that many inductions lead to.  As I have heard from so many women, it is a very unpleasant experience.  Many times the pain comes on so forced and so fast women end up having to have an epidural, other interventions and many times emergency C-section (no thanks).  My yoga instructor told me today that she was induced at day 7 as that was her doctors "induction party date" and she basically had one extremely painful 12 hour contraction and the most awful birth....she wished she would have said no and waited a while longer.  And my cleaning lady told me one of her three kids was induced and it was the worst experience ever..she basically had three contractions and then it was like the child "ripped the life out of me" as she put it.  And I have spoken to a variety of other women and read so much about induction, that none of it seems pleasant....forcing nature usually isn't.   All that said, we will be starting monitoring every few days, beginning with an ultrasound this Friday.  And if there are truly any signs that babe is not comfortable, placenta is not functioning or anything negative at all, of course I will do what is best.

I am hopefully going to try some acupuncture tomorrow or this weekend to get things moving along.  I did that with Dutch, and went into labour two days later....not sure if it was the acupuncture or babe was just ready....but its worth a try.  Until then, we all just sit here in anticipation...excited to meet this little wonder of the world.  I really think the only thing keeping my body feeling great is my three yoga classes per week.....I highly recommend it for any pregnant gal out there...its a beautiful thing, so enjoy!

Three Days Overdue with Number 2

Well...I am now three days overdue, and something is feeling strangely familiar about this....and not in a good way.  Being 18 days overdue with Dutch was one of the most mentally and physically challenging things I have had to face in my life.  Not just because of the anticipation and carrying such a heavy load around, but having everyone around you give their opinions on your choice to not be chemically induced.  I have shared my philosophy before on this topic in other blogs so I wont go on about it here.

Our Doula who helped with the birth of Dutch advised me to just assume this baby will come at the same time as Dutch and anything earlier would be a pleasant surprise....a much smarter approach than the one I took...by actually writing "baby" on the Aug 2nd block on my kitchen calendar...HA!  What was I thinking.  I feel a little more concerned this time, simply because we do not have a caring and understanding Doctor this time around.  Our Doc in Vancouver, although wanted to induce, did respect our decision and only asked we get regular monitoring to ensure everything was okay with baby...which of course we were more than happy to do.  This time we are in a new City at a clinic that has 10 different Doctors and I am just a number....my life is on a flash drive.  Whenever I get a different doctor at the clinic, they have to wait to plug in the flash drive to say hello...uh........Heather.  Oh well...at least its my second baby and we sort of know what we are getting ourselves into....oh yes, and my hubby is my birth coach this time too!  But I know we will be a great team...I just don't want things to go so late again that we have to go through all of the emotional, controversial upheaval. 

I am considering getting the membrane scrape this week...I was thinking I would have it done tomorrow at my next appointment...but after reading quite a bit of information about it, I have changed my mind.  I will wait until I am closer to the 42 week period.  Especially knowing my track record of growing babies for an extra long time!  And this time I know if we go over the 42 week period, that the best thing for us to do is to turn off all communication from the outside world, listen to our instincts and my body, trust in the beautiful process of birth and enjoy.

The Beauty of Pregnancy

You know you have had one of those days when you take moment to look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that you have spent the entire day with makeup on only one of your eyes.  Yes, thats right....great eyebrow shape, a bit of light eyeshadow, and mascara...all on one eye....way to go Heath!  Everything is just sooooo busy when you have a toddler and you are 9 months pregnant wondering when the heck baby number two is gonna arrive.  I don't know how the eff some of those moms look so pulled together...so with it.  A girlfriend of mine just had baby number FOUR....that's right #4!!!! And it seems no matter when I pop by to see her she always looks good...wearing a cute little outfit....a bit of makeup on and ready for the day.  I am the one spontaneously popping by to see her....knowing that I am doing just this, you would think that I would be the one to pull myself together ....but for some effing reason, this just never seems to happen.   Most of the time I have to shower and wash my hair at night as there is zero time during the day for such luxuries....which leaves my hair a frizzy, shitty mess...so out comes the " I am married and have kids, so I don't care any more" Clip.  My hair is now too short to put all of it back in this flippen clip so huge chunks of it fall down, leaving me looking down right slow....my toddler thinks these are reigns to pull on and often yanks pieces of hair out of my head. 

I always envisioned myself as one of those really hot pregnant chicks...okay, no I didn't....but I thought I would make more of an effort than this.....I typically wear the same stretch pants everyday....except for when I piss in them (which happens regularly at the moment) and then I wear my other stretch pants.  I alternate between two bras, because I am too cheap to buy a new one that feels comfortable, knowing my boobs will change again when the baby comes.  One bra makes my tits look great.....awesome cleavage...hikes em up there....but its now so tight around my rib cage you can see the layers of back fat through my shirt...its like I have a tube of  boobs on my back.  Then there is the other bra....which is a handmedown....yes a borrowed bra (did I mention "too cheap").  She is one of my best friends, so its okay for me to use her maternity bra...so there.  This bra is too big....but damn its comfortable...so I wear it most often....this offers very little support, and allows my gigantic prenatal boobs to rest comfortably on my stomach so I basically look like I have no boobs and one giant stomach.....no...who I am kidding....it just makes me look like I have really saggy boobs resting on my stomach.  But I have no back fat!!! That's gotta be a plus??

I am grateful for these boobs though....I had no problems breastfeeding my first child and do not anticipate any issues with the next....so Thank You boobs! 

Not sure how I got so off topic....not really sure what the topic was now....I would have to re-read from the start and I am tired....just peed my pants again, and I need to go wash this makeup off my one damn eye.  Goodnight and Enjoy.

White Trash for Dinner Please

So as I have mentioned in a previous blog, I have been craving a lot of different things with this pregnancy vs. my first.  Perhaps its because with my first I had made a commitment to myself to eat so healthy....and this time it was like...eh anything goes.  Luckily I haven't gained 100lbs and have maintained about the same weight gain as my first pregnancy, despite the dilly bars, cake, cookies, pizza and myriad indulgences. 

For the past few months my craving has been for cake.  Now I have always enjoyed a nice slice of cake, but now I feel like I should have a piece everyday.  Lucky for me there have been a few celebrations this year which have enabled me to consume lots of it!  Not being the fussy type, white, chocolate, banana, cupcakes....I'll take what I can get, plus the corner you may have left on your own plate!

Many times I don't really think my husband pays attention to these cravings....because, you see, I randomly talk about food all the time.  I am just like my dad.  While eating dinner, I will already be thinking about what I will make for breakfast the next day, or dinner the following night.  My mom gets disgusted with us that we can think of the next meal while we are in the middle of eating the first one....but such is the life of a foodie...always on the brain.  So it came as a complete surprise a while back when Ivan returned from a business trip out West.  He had just arrived home after five days and after all the hugs and kisses he said he had a surprise for me....immediately I asked if it was cake.  "No" he replied, I got you local BC cherries from a fruit stand.........bless my husband for knowing that the best surprise gift I could ever get would be food.  Sure I was slightly disappointed that it wasn't cake....but BC cherries were a close second!  And just as I was about to take my prize and wash em up for consumption, he pulls out a chocolate cake he had been cleverly concealing....and this wasn't just any chocolate cake....it was a McCain Deep N' Delicious!!!!! I almost bust a gut....I haven't had that cake since I was a teenager.  It's about the most white trash cake you can get, but as I mentioned before...not picky....so cake I ate!!!  My husband does really pay attention to the little details...I guess he had remembered a family conversation, reminiscing about eating those cakes as they often would come as the dessert to the KFC family bucket we would get on Friday nights.  Yes, sometimes this is what we would have for family dinner on Fridays....the coleslaw and mayo salad for the veggies, the addictive gravy and fries with that thickly battered chicken...come on, you know you had it too.   I haven't had KFC in years, nor do I ever plan on eating it again...but back in the day we loved it.

I know we were not the only family who enjoyed their Friday night "bucket"....I have heard from other friends who share the same memories.  In fact I was chatting with a girlfriend today about how frustrating it can be to try and cook a meal while your toddler is hanging off your leg and trying to touch the stove top.  She has often asked her mom for advice on this issue, to which she replies it was easy and she just did it....my own mom doesn't remember.  So my girlfriend made the realization that what we were eating for dinner in the 70s kitchen was a little different than what we cook today.  We both fondly remembered our plates laden with a pork chop, side of cream corn and slices of white bread with butter...she said she got steamed broccoli....I only remember my mom steaming veggies in those microwavable pouches full of butter (or what they claimed to be butter).  We both agreed with giggles that it would be much easier to prepare such a meal!  Instead we make quinoa pilaf, barley casserole, kale chips, baked salmon and roasted root veggies...perhaps we ought to go back to a simpler time and put the damn McCains cake back on the table.

Moms, we are NOT criticizing your cooking skills (but are very thankful that they have become so very enhanced over the years).  We are grateful for everything...and now understand why the white bread was always a staple at the table. Now I shall go and eat my last piece of Deep N' Delicious and enjoy!

The Ranche-A Hidden Calgary Gem

Since moving to Calgary we have had limited opportunity to explore the food scene.  But I have certainly found one place worth writing about.  In my opinion it would be considered a "hidden" gem.  I use the term "hidden" simply because if you didn't know it existed, the chances of you stumbling upon it are pretty much nill.  I have friends who have lived here all their lives and never heard of this amazing place.  Its called The Ranche and its located in the ever so scenic Fish Creek Park.  We live right on the ridge of Fish Creek and were told of this place when we moved here.

When you walk up to the charming old house, you are immediately transported to another time.....like you are on a stunning plantation in the deep south.  The grounds are kept immaculate and there are beautiful flowers dotting the property in all the right places...it just makes you smile.

A small group of us went for Ivan's 40th birthday and had a lovely time.  We went for a late dinner on a Monday night, so we pretty much had the place to ourselves.  This is not the place to go if you are looking to see and be seen...its all about the food and the experience. If you are looking for a bit more of a lively, chattery room...I may suggest going on a weekend.  The service was perfect and the food even better.  This is also the place to be a bit more adventurous with your palate, as they offer a variety of wild, local game.  It was a chilly night, and the dining room was so grand and welcoming, I was in the mood for a cozy, comforting dish.  I opted for the slow roasted wild boar shoulder and basically couldn't speak through the entirety of my meal....each bite was perfect and so delicious, I didn't want it to end....thankfully they offer substantial portion sizes, but we were still happy we ordered a side of the king oyster mushrooms as they were to die for.

Ivan was feeling very adventurous and tried the wild northern caribou and was pleasantly surprised.  He had never tried caribou before and also enjoyed his meal immensely. Our dining companions also seemed to really enjoy their dishes, and we even saved enough room for dessert.  The desserts we ordered were a bit on the small size for sharing...but still a fantastic end to an amazing meal.

I was then recently invited back to the Ranche with a girlfriend of mine who suggested we go for lunch.  I didn't realize they did lunch and I am so thrilled we went.  We sat outside on the patio that surrounds the house and I seriously felt like I should be sitting on a porch swing sipping lemonade and fanning myself...its completely that charming.  Once again, everything on the menu sounded amazing...but both myself and my dining companion opted for the heritage chicken confit sandwich....which seriously was the best sandwich I have ever eaten and I want to go back today to have another.  This is a rich dish...but I love that its open faced so you can feel a little more refined eating with cutlery vs. trying to fit all the right bites into your mouth with your paws. The combination of the chicken, bacon and applewood smoked cheddar was simply to die for...I went for a side salad vs. the fries and am glad I did...I think the fries would have put me over the edge, and this way I didn't feel guilty enough not to have dessert!  I tried their semifredo (keeping in mind their menu changes frequently) and it was overthetop amazing.  I don't think you can go wrong with ANYTHING you order at the Ranche. 

This is the perfect place to lunch (and I have also heard their weekend brunch is fantastic as well) or enjoy a romantic dinner.  Gather a group together to share the experience, or not, but you will be impressed so please do Enjoy!

The "Nesting" Phase

Been forever since I have written once again....but what mom has time in the day to sit down and write.  Especially with a toddler ripping around and baby # two due in about 2 weeks!  YIKES is all I can say.  Everyday something happens that I would like to write about...some amazing restaurants I have tried out in Calgary...but my days seem consumed with domestic duties, diapers, walks to the park, doctors apts and when I have a moment to myself, I choose to NAP!  I have been very tired throughout this pregnancy, and in the last month and a bit I have succumbed to napping when my son goes down...and I feel like a better mom and wife for it.

I am now in the "nesting" phase of this pregnancy, so have been cooking and baking up a storm so I can stock my freezer full of stuff so I don't have to cook once the new baby arrives.  That was the LAST thing I wanted to do when Dutch was born, and I am forever grateful for my mom who spent almost a month with us and cooked and baked and just took care of all of us.  Now I have the luxury of living in the same city as this saint....and I know she will help out lots....but I still wanted to get a good head start on stocking my freezer.  For anyone else looking forward to having a new baby, I strongly suggest doing this.  Freeze soups, stews, casseroles, chicken pot pies (our fave), muffins, breads etc.  You will appreciate your efforts when you are delirious with zero sleep and don't know which way is up.  And your hubby will be Thankful too....especially if he is not the cook in the family.

But then there are also so many premade things that you can pick up for a quick dinner post baby....cost co does this well with their pre-roasted chickens, fresh pizzas, myriad salads and platters...I know I will be sending Ivan there once my freezer runs out.

I am looking forward to meeting this little one and feasting on my freezer full of treats!

Enjoy

Pregnancy Then and Now

Ahhhhhh being pregnant.  I have forgotten what it was like...even though I was pregnant only 17 short months ago.  I really enjoyed my first pregnancy...well after the first 4-5 months of nausea and lethargy of course.  Then I felt pretty awesome...but I was a real rock star back then.  At the time we were living in Kitsalano Vancouver, where we could walk out of the condo to any number of shops and markets and grab some fresh, local Kale or broccoli.  I was also seeing a naturopath (god love a job with benefits) and she was keeping me on track with a diet of no wheat/gluten or dairy....and a few other things.  I stuck to it pretty darn ridgedly for the whole pregnancy...save for the few random cravings for dim sum that I indulged in.  I mean come on people, there is nothing like a good dim sum!  I also attended pre-natal yoga twice a week and walked every day....I was the "perfect" pregnant gal.  Is my child perfect...well Yes of course...but he has sensitivities to lots of different foods and is allergic to nuts.......SOOOOOOOO this pregnancy is going quite a bit differently.

First of all...we moved to Calgary.  Why you ask...why leave the beauty of the coast...the blooming flowers...lush greenery and ocean mist, to live in a freezer you ask.  Well for a few reasons.  First of all, my mom and dad live here and they are AMAZING with their only grandson. My mom looks after Dutch twice a week and they often babysit one evening during the week too...which lets Ivan and I have some much needed romantic time.  HAHAHAHAHAAH .....romance????? Does that exist when you are dead tired all the time from being pregnant and raising two toddlers (hubby being the other).  Anyway, it is a true blessing to have my folks close by...not to mention all of the home cooking and baking that my mommy sends home for us!  The other main reason is because you have to be a billionaire to own a house near the ocean in Vancouver....I mean in walking distance.  Of course we could have moved out to creepy East Van (which Ivan thinks has so much "character" and I think has so much "psycho murderers, muggers and heroin addicts") no offence to the four people who live there who are not  murderers, muggers or addicts.  I regress....we could have also moved out to the burbs where homes are more affordable....but no beach.  Or we could have moved to a beach side community that is just as boring as...well the burbs in any city. So the real thing is here...standard of living. We can afford to buy a beautiful, big home in Calgary for the price of our little condo in Kits...'nuff said.

 Okay so that was a major, major off topic side note about why we moved here.  But what I was trying to say is how this pregnancy differs so much from my first.  We no longer live across the street from a market...in fact, markets don't exist in the burbs...so we have to drive and "stock up" as they say.  And with all of this cold weather, I have been craving major comfort foods...like today for example, I had french toast stuffed with cinnamon cream cheese topped with fruit and syrup...OMG was it flippen great (try it out at the Bluestar Diner)  Last week we went out for dinner with friends and I wanted to order the biggest steak on the menu, if I enjoy some of my home made soup...well it goes without saying...needs a buttermilk biscuit to go alongside.  I can't get enough pizza and I will not turn you down if you invite me for Chinese.  But the oddest thing about this pregnancy are my cravings for ice cream.  I don't even like ice cream....I really would only eat it on an extremely hot day and it would have to be the good old fashion home churned kind...none of this fancy gelatto, sorbetto shit.  But right now...I have no standards.  In fact, my husband had to ask my dad to pick me up a box of Dairy Queen dilly bars...which he did, and they were awesome...in the dead middle of winter.  The entire box of 12 lasted only a few days.   We are slightly concerned this baby is going to be a blob....and/or I am. 

Ivan called it a science experiment....I generally don't mess around with my health like this...but its almost like its uncontrollable...just like when I piss my pants every time I sneeze, laugh or cough.....run, slight jog.  Well I pretty much pee my pants all the time at this point.  Ahhhhh being pregnant, it certainly is a unique experience.

Enjoy!

Facebook Schmacebook

Seriously...it has been SIX fricken months since I have written in my blog....something usually happens every single day that I want to write about...but then I find too many other things to do to occupy my time.  Yes, being a mom is busy...the little guy has two naps per day...about an hour each time.  So I generally use one of those hours to shower and the other to sleep.  You see I am pregnant again and really really tired.  So not a lot of time for Heather.....but when I do get time, what do I do....I waste it by posting photos on Facebook and then surfing other peoples photos.  I really love and hate facebook.  Its great to see my friends kids photos, especially those who I don't regularly see...but really the amount of crap on there just annoys me.  Like the pages of those old high school acquaintances who post photo after photo of themselves...taken with their smartphones in the bathroom mirror...skiing, at the beach, in their bedroom....REALLY people, get an effin grip....yes, you may be hot, but by posting self portraits constantly you scream LOW SELF ESTEEM...looser.

I mean don't get me wrong...I am guilty of FB disgusting behavior too....I edit all my photos and of course only post the ones that I look good in...and this bugs me that I do this....yet, I still do it.  Part of the charm of the old fashioned photo album is when your friends and family used to come over and you would have a good laugh at all of the photos in it...of your bad hair day, the lazy eye photo...the one with crap in your teeth, the one where you have five chins and the one that makes you resemble a dog.  Those are fun photos.

The other thing that bugs me are the people who post every single thing they are doing at every moment of every bloody day.  Like you are in the middle of experiencing something great...you are so fully in the moment that you take the time to post a comment on your FB page???.....please....stay in the fricken moment and enjoy it...no one really gives a shit about what you are doing.  Or do they...because other people actually "comment" on what you are doing.....for god sakes I have commented...I almost feel like I have to.  Actually, don't even get me started on the "comments" section...because we have all become so obsessed with receiving FB comments from our peers...like the more comments we get the better we feel about ourselves.  FB really is such an egotistical, pathetic waste of time....we all have to post amazing photos of our accomplishments, update our status so everyone knows we eat at the best restaurants or can afford the best vacations and then we patiently (or not so much) await the approval of our friends by way of their comments.  Its a sickening cycle that we are trapped in...lets go back to the old fashioned phone call...or maybe even mailing a real photo of your kids to a loved one...and enjoying the moment we are experiencing instead of stopping mid-bungee jump to post what you are doing.

Now if you will excuse me, we just returned from a fantastic trip to Maui and I have to post some photos.

Enjoy!

Public pools and bunions

I didn't realize just how long I have disliked public pools...and then I found this piece I wrote over 10 years ago when I had a bunionectomy....yes people a bunionectomy. I inherited bunions and have had em since I was like 9....one of them got so bad I couldn't walk, so I had surgery....best thing I ever could have done....but, as you can see, the aftermath was more than a little cumbersome...Enjoy.

I sincerely have a newfound fondness for retarded pool freaks...You know the one's I'm talking about. There is always one, sometimes two, of those freaky, deformed, grossmeoutmypants excuses for human beings, who enjoy terrorizing local swimming facilities. Well now I am one of them. The girl with the barf on me twice and call me pukey, mangled, blue, ugly-ass foot! Yes, my foot although is healing quite nicely as the doc. says, does not look so pretty. Long gone are the days of Yoga and Step class, farewell to high heals and dancing - hello you disgustingly sorry-ass excuse for a foot.

Well, due to the fact that I do not wish to gain yet another ass, I have decided to take up acquasize. Thinking to myself, well I will just rush into the water and quickly out so no one will actually see the foot. But no, apparently you have to take off your shoes before you actually can get in...rules rules. Not only do you have to remove your shoes, but you must do so outside of the changing room, in the hall with everyone else. So I sit my ass on the bench and proceed to remove my one very stylin shoe and then my other enormously huge, slow person shoe which comes equiped with velcro for your ease and pleasure....perhaps that gave me away? Next are the socks, or sock in my case, as the left foot elegantly sports a blue and pink slipper, and not, I might add without the essential pompom! Well certainly by now everyone is curious to see what kind of horriffic deformity I am hiding under there. So I wait....I pretend that I have lost my keys in my pocket yet again, or the wall in front of me is extremely interesting....and I wait until they leave...those laughing, jeering, snickering people with perfect feet.

I am ready to make my move, as I enter the change room I quickly find a corner in which to take cover. I hide my foot in the locker. Well perhaps I don't go that far, but I do see a sign which says those with communicable diseases shall not be permitted.....geezus, are bunions communicable???

I finally make it into the pool area, I can feel the gagging stares of astonishment burning into my foot. Or is it just me, am I the one who is paranoid? Finally I am in the water, and we have a good workout, my foot feels alive and well. It kicks, it flutters and twists and turns...in the water all sterotypes are removed, it is no longer deformed but just a normal foot.....that no one can see.

Oh no the class is over, everyone saunters out of the pool. I wait as long as possible, then dart to the showers....which are communal...damn it! There I look down to see the foot has followed me, but now its worse. The water has made it soggy, the kicking has made it swollen and the pressure has made it dark purple...it is a grotesque piece of meat hanging off my calf. I am horrified. My limp becomes a little more exaggerated, perhaps they will feel sorry for me? Or... is it just me, maybe they didn't even notice? Could it be that everyone has their little "abnormalities," and that mine just happens to be visible? Are we just imagining these things?  Hell NO, we've all seen it, that women with the back hair, that man with the ingrown toenail, and those endless amounts of floating bandaids. Don't try to hide it.....cause honey, that bandaid will not cover that missing arm, deformities are NOT in the eye of the beholder, the are right there on your ugly-ass foot for all to see!

So I beg of you, foot to foot, don't oogle, don't stare and please do not laugh....cause I can see under your bandaid, and sweetheart it ain't too pretty.

I Hate Public Pools

It has been ages since I have been in public pool...and I hate them.....no, that word doesn't cover it...I actually despise them.  We had decided to take our 10 month old swimming, since many of our friends had done so with their wee ones and said the kiddies just loved it.

I had kind of been putting it off...procrastinating...but unsure as to why.  So we finally found a day that worked with our schedules, we packed up (which is a huge pain in the ass to pack for swimming myself, let alone a husband and baby) and off we went to a local Vancouver community pool. 

We parked...all was well...then we got close to the main entrance and I started to get this panicky feeling as soon as I smelled the strong odor of chlorine.....but in we went....the disgusted comments I had made about the smell went unappreciated by my husband unfortunately.  The lady at the front desk was so smiley and cheerful..."have a great time" she says, but I know secretly she is smirking behind her clean, dry desk...thinking you sick fucks....there is no way I would take my child into this pool.

Ivan and I part ways...me with child, and into the women's area we go to change and I really start to panic....not because of all the women in there with their 1970's jungle bushes crawling about... and not because of the saggy boobs (After becoming a mom, I no longer judge)  not even because of the smell of wet, chlorinated bum....but the disgusting layer of warm, slime that coats the change room floor (I just barfed in my mouth)....you know it...you feel it....its kind of thick...and has lots of pubes and long dark hairs caught in it...all swirled about...not to mention the stray band-aids and general bits of grossness everywhere.  I want to cry....I want to leave immediately...but my boy...must do it for the boy. 

Clearly I must love my son a lot to do this for him...I remember when my mom used to take my brother and I to the YMCA or the family leisure center to swim...I hated it (and she confirmed this today).  Shayne and I would play this disturbing game....so if you HAD to.....would you rather lick the floor of the leisure center or eat one of the floating band-aids (sick, twisted little shits we were). But this gives you some indication of how gross we think swimming pools are...or at least the change rooms.

Anyway, I lay my adorable little son on the gross bench while a group of Chinese women goo goo gaa gaa over him... I try to protect him from their naked butts and hairy moles.  I manage to get into my bathing suit and lock up our stuff in the locker...I inserted the quarter and have one brief moment of happy nostalgia...whenever I had to wait for mom to have her shower after swimming, I would go around and feel the little slot in every locker looking for forgotten quarters...sometimes I would collect a whole dollar or two, and this apparently made the entire swimming experience worth it.  Dutch and I scurry out into the pool area...where everyone is laughing and playing....and all I can think is, this is one giant disgusting bath filled with gross, dirty people who now think they are clean because they are in water....but my son LOVES it.  He is squealing with delight...daddy throws him up in the air and then dips his chubby little toes in the water and he giggles away.  He crawls through the shallow end, and splashes himself...we take him over to the little lazy river and float around and around and he is in his glory.  It's really adorable, I am actually glad we came.

We enjoy playing with the little dude splish splashing away....he had so much fun....and we did too.  But now, my hubby and I are done...ready to leave...the fun has worn off and I felt like I had made enough sacrifice for one day/week/year.  Uggggg....back to the dreaded change rooms.  We quickly shower and head into that damn women's change room and....( you may barf if you have a weak stomach) I swear I saw an effin blood clot on the floor....I seriously almost fainted.  I grabbed our shit out of the locker and put my dry clothes over my wet bathing suit as I couldn't bear to stay in there a moment longer....I can't even begin to analyze what I just said above...I don't want to...I will be haunted forever.

Is there a moral to this story...hmmmmm....well...I guess having kids sure makes you do a lot of gross shit that you really don't want to do, but you love them so much, you do it anyway.

Enjoy.

Hawksworth Restaurant in Vancouver

I have been spoiling myself a bit lately with some fabulous Vancouver dining! 

Hubby and I had a date night a few weeks ago as Gran and Gramps were in town to babysit...wooo hooo!  It was so overwhelming trying to decide where to go...I felt like we had one chance to pick something amazing...and ALL of the places I have been DYING to try just fluttered out of my brain....too many choices and Heather shuts down.

So we decided on just starting off with a drink at the lounge of the Fairmont Pacific Rim which is an absolutely sumptuous hotel...wow.  We sipped Blue Mountain bubbles and slurped back some cool Oysters.  Divine way to start the night with my hubby.  After that, the only new restaurant that I could think of that I had wanted to try was Hawksworth which apparently we were really lucky to get a table at, as none of my pals have been able to get a reso.  We went spur of the moment for a late dinner, and were lucky I guess.  Beautiful room...you just feel wealthy being there....we sipped more bubbles while we waited for our table.  It was hard to decide on food, as everything sounded just splendid...but we settled on the caramelized squid to start, which was a smallish plate...but loaded with flavour and Ivan devoured the Rack of Pork...the largest dish on the menu (so the server said). It was fabulous.  While I opted for something lighter, (why I don't know.....breastfeeding seems to require the appetite of Andre the Giant) the Sablefish was equally delish. 

It's a pricey restaurant...but worth going once I think.  I like that there are many different components to each of their dishes, and each separate component somehow seems to really tie the whole dish together.  ex... generally I wouldn't think to put shiitake mushrooms with yams...but it works. I don't know why...but when I go to a "fancy" restaurant I really want them to have warm bread on the table with soft whipped butter. ...unfortunately Hawksworth does not share my version of fancy.  Maybe my idea of fancy is wrong...or sounds like going to the Keg (I really do like their damn bread there...nothing else, but the bread)....so because I had ordered a "lighter" dish...and by light, I don't mean small...this is not one of those places that serves you three peas for $40.00....but the sable fish was more like a soup, and I did leave feeling like I could eat more....if you are breastfeeding...order the pork hahaha...anyway, I could have certainly enjoyed a bit of nice bread at the table as well.

All in all, a fabulous evening was had, and I hope if you go, you certainly Enjoy!

A world of Distraction

I can't believe my little boy is already 10 months old...where has the time gone?  Sound like a familiar statement from every single parent you have ever met...it does to me.  I went to lunch today with some industry friends I used to work with today.  We went to the Boathouse on Kits beach...always good/average food...but wow, what a beautiful location. 

10 months ago, when I used to meet industry folks for lunch, I would rush into the restaurant, most likely coming from another meeting...I would barely see where I was walking, because I would be desperately trying to type out a message to some client in a panic, and if they didn't get an answer asap the world would really actually end.  I would try my best to focus on lunch and the person I was sitting with but I often would have this nagging urge to check my blackberry.  As soon as my companion went to the bathroom, I would whip out my bb, like some addict and quickly scroll through the messages...whats urgent...who needs a call....shit that person is sooo important, I gotta call them back asap.

Lunch companion returns..."would you excuse me I gotta make a call" Ahhhh...I feel much better now that I have resolved this issue....I've had my "fix"  Now I can relax and enjoy lunch. My hair was tied back, my suit was on straight and my heels were too tight...the quintessential business woman.

Today, well....today was just slightly different.  One of my industry friends is also on Maternity leave and so we brought our babies along for this lovely luncheon with our industry non-maternity leave girlfriends.  Somehow, I don't feel like I got to catch up with any of them....

Dutch and I arrived at the restaurant 15mins early...because, well because that's what worked best with our schedule.  We walked along the beach until he started to fuss....I was looking pretty cute in my bright orange denim and slinky stripped shirt...no one would have even noticed a baby strapped to my chest in the fluorescent green Ergo Baby.  He starts to fuss...we head inside...I try walking around the restaurant to keep him calm...not calm...not calm at all...Okay...I wanted to save "the boob" for when the girls arrive...but he is absolutely not interested in my plan at all...he is saying...eff you mom, I don't give two shits that you are meeting your fancy ass friends for lunch...give me that effin boob pronto!  Okay FINE child...insert boob here.

Ah peace and quiet...I enjoy the view for a few moments before my girlfriend and her baby arrive...We have a few seconds to say hello, then she has to get her little girl sorted out.  Then the other gals show up...Dang, Dutchie is finished already!  We start trying to catch up, but both babies start to fuss....I lay out a variety of carefully chopped up bits of food on the table in front of Dutch...he starts shoveling...there are bits of broccoli in his eye and on his shoulder and about 50 scraps on the floor...3 second rule...ummmm lets make it the 2 minute rule....clearly I have no sanitation issues....gotta build up that immune system right????

Its so lovely to see the girls...but they are on their bb's most of the time....one gal with her bluetooth glued to her pretty little head, ready to take that next call....and calls there were.  We were all distracted with our own stuff.  It was so surreal...I have only been away from the industry for such a short time...and now I have this tiny little monkey who brings me more joy than anything sucking up every ounce of my attention at this luncheon...but I am grateful...grateful that I have had the opportunity to step out of that role I have had for the past 8 years, and step into this new role....the most rewarding and challenging of my life....it can only make me a better person, and better at everything I do.  A welcome distraction indeed.

Enjoy!

I Salute You Single Parents!

So yesterday was day #1 of being on my own with baby Dutch.  I haven't been on my own with the little guy without some sort of help from Ivan or family since he was born, and it was a magnificent day.  Ivan left early Friday morning for a soccer tournament/boozefest/golf/awayfrommykidandwifeahhhhhhh long weekend.  Bugger.

Anyway, yesterday was bright and sunny so after Dutchies first nap I strapped him into the Ergo baby and we hopped on the bus headed for downtown!!!  It was the first time taking Dutch on a bus....not my favorite mode of transport by any stretch...however, Ivan has the car and I wanted to take baby on an adventure.  Bus went okay....I had to pop a boob in his mouth...but that just fixes everything....men..sheesh!  We went for a visit to where I used to work, where Dutch was quickly swept up in ooogles and kisses by the ladies in the office.  We stayed for about an hour then headed for some shade under a tree so little mister could have some lunch.  After that, mama was hungry so I stopped at a food truck on Burrard called Tacofino and treated myself to a scrumptious seared tuna taco that was so perfect, I suggest you go.  The burritos looked amazing, but they were HUGE and I wasn't so hungry (surprise). Then we popped back on the bus and headed for home....it was such a lovely day, and we both went to bed happy and completely pooped.

Day #2....not so dazzling.  Dutchie decided to wake up at 6:15am this morning..and after attempting to let him "cry it out" for a while, the cries did not "out" so up I dragged myself...plastering a smile on my face in order to greet my screaming child. My eyes are still fuzzy, I trip on a toy....I am not happy...but coochie-coochie-coo baby....lets greet the day my little goo goo gaga.  I s-l-o-w-l-y walk us through our usual morning routine....attempting to distract him from boob for a few minutes until he demands to be fed immediately.  So fed, he is!

Its too early on a Saturday to go out anywhere, as nothing will be open, so we play, and we play and we play...in between the uhhhh NO Dutchie don't climb on the fireplace, play- play.....NO Dutch, stay away from daddies home-made screen door, play- play, DUTCH...NO, don't put your fingers in the fan...play- play -play AHHHHH Dutch, don't try to climb up on the ledge..your gonna hurt yourself.....waaaaaaaaaaaaa. See I told you.  I feel so bad telling him no all the time...but condo living + baby = NO NO NO. That will be changing soon!

Finally ...three hours later, its time for Dutchies first nap...ahhhhhhh peace at last...oh wait, I have 4 piles of laundry to do...I'll quickly throw one load in then sit and relax and read my smutty book....okay laundry in....oh shit...I forgot to clean up his highchair and surrounding area...don't want the food to get stuck on...then Ill sit and read....okay done.  I grab for my smutty 50 Shades of Gray to see what sort of kinky sex Christian and Ana are going to have today...WAAAAAAA Mutha Fuck....REALLY Dutch...REALLY...you have been sleeping for only 20mins??? What happened to your hour long naps, clearly you know your father is out of town and you are trying to brainwash me via rest deprivation.  Uggggg okay..until later Christian.

Dutch is up an at em, so we head out in the stroller to Whole Foods for a delicious muffin which we take down to Kits beach.  Dutchie plays on the grass, pulling up the leaves and flowers and putting them in his mouth...I let him, because I am eating a delicious muffin....waa waaa...okay ready to go are you.  We quickly fit in a few errands and head back home for a late lunch. It is now after 3pm and Dutchie is cranky and appears to be ready for a nap.  He is down and out for the count within minutes....I am EXHAUSTED...so I crawl into bed myself to try and catch a few zeees....WAAA WAAAAA....NO, no please....I was Just drifting off WAAAAAAA....yet another 25 minute nap..what is going ON! Must be teething AGAIN.....and now I am not happy mom, and no matter what you do for the rest of the day, you will not be able to make me happy....groan.  I sure hope my husband is having a good time..bugger.

Mr. Dutch basically cried and whimpered from 4pm until bed time....I wanted to pull my hair out....I have never thought about Divorce until now......but I seriously seriously do NOT know how single parents do this...its only been two days...and I have two more to go.  If you are a single parent...for gods sake please live near your family or hire help.  FUCK I forgot about the laundry...mmmmmm it smells like soggy feet.

My one saving grace is my little boy before bath time..its the best...when he gets all in the rudey nudey...gives his little hammer a yank to make sure its still there, then giggles away....I get tears thinking how lucky I really am...(I also get tears because the diaper genie effin wreaks).  He plays like a champion in the bath...splish splashin away and gives me a slobbery, open mouth kiss on my chin, then tries to bite it....seriously I couldn't love anyone or anything more than I love my son in this moment.

He goes to sleep quickly....I think its been an exhausting day for both of us (Ivan...don't you even dare complain about your sore back after all your soccer games...you are soooo sending me to the spa when you get home).

I salute you single parents!

Enjoy.

The past two months

OMG as if I haven't written since the beginning of JUNE...this is crazy...I think about writing every single day...but then that day escapes me and its onto the next and then the next.  I swear the day I graduated highschool life took on this hyperspeed pace, whereby everything seems to zip by in the blink of an eye (as they say..... welll...they are so right).  Having a baby really accentuates this because you get to see their growth and change everyday.  Our little Dutch is now 9 months and I really can't believe it...my maternity leave is over in just a few months and our baby will soon have his first birthday...where has this year gone??

So much has happened over the past two months...Dutch started crawling and standing...he pulls himself up on everything.  We went to Tofino on a family trip which was simply fantastic!  It ended up being just the three of us, but it was perfect..lots of long walks every day....Dutchies first experience with sand (he loved it so much he ate it)...a visit with my lovely in-laws on Saltspring Island...a trip up to the mountains of Northern BC for one of my best friends' weddings, which was so much fun...then a stop in Peachland to visit my cousins..with a brief gander along the Narmada bench to sample some vino and buy a bottle or four (same amount of teeth Mr. Dutch now has)  Wow...just thinking about all of this brings a smile to my heart.

I also discovered my lovely little blog has a few more readers then I knew of... a few people were mentioning one or two of my entries which made me feel so honored...and...well inspired to write more.

Thank You World for letting me have this extraordinary life...I shall do my best to live it well.

Enjoy!

Throw me a Bone

So finally after 3 years of living on West Broadway a new butcher shop opened called The Honest Butcher....its been there quite a few months now, and I have popped by various times just to check things out as I love the concept.  You would think the store was closed if you walked by because there is nothing to it...it looks like a bare shop, until you enter and lay your eyes on meat meat meat.  They say they are the only butcher shop in Van that does tip to tail...so they buy the whole animal and butcher it right there in the shop, and they use every last bit.  All local, hormone free and just the good stuff.

We are used to going to Market Meats on West 4th, where the service is amazing and they always have great tips and they are just so friendly.  Ivan and I don't eat much meat...maybe once or twice a week, so we don't mind buying the good stuff when we do....yeh it costs an arm and a leg (hahaha) but I can feel good about what I am eating. 

Anyway, we are having company for dinner tomorrow, and I know they love meat, so I thought I would make things easy on myself and just do some bbq skewers.  I went to a cooking class and watched the chef do this with marinated lamb and it was so quick/easy/delish I thought it was a great idea.

So off I zipped to The Honest Butcher to buy me some lamb.  The guy who is always there (I think the owner) who is a really LOW talker (pardon...hu??? say again??) asked if I needed help and yes I certainly did.  Behind the counter at the back of the shop is their meat locker...you can see the animals hanging from the top....kinda creepy but cool.  And today on the huge table behind the counter lay several unrecognizable animals....I was fascinated.  Usually something like this would totally gross me out....kinda reminded me of a horror movie....but I guess because I love cooking so much, I felt intrigued.

So I told the low talker that I have never made lamb before and my recipe said I needed 2lbs of cubed lamb to make skewers.  He asked if I wanted shoulder or leg....no idea....so he said, Ill see what I have.  He walked over to the table full of random animal parts and grabbed a bony, meaty mass of what turns out to be lamb shoulder and literally plops it on a band saw and cuts it clean in half....I have never seen anything like this before.....too real.  I guess I am used to all of the pretty, perfectly cubed pieces of meat at Market Meats.....of course they too have a room where all the magic happens down at the end of the store...but this was really right in your face. 

Low talker shows me the shoulder of lamb and asks me if I want him to cube it, but the prices goes up an extra $2.00/lb.  I say no (being a good wifey trying to save money)...I will do it at home.....WTF Heather....really, WTF were you thinking...that you would just take this expensive hunk of shoulder home and cut it into perfect cubes of meat.  OMG, an HOUR later I have totally massacred the lamb shoulder....it now looks like a lamb foot...I don't have any of the proper knives and have zero idea how to even cook lamb, let alone debone it.  There is such a skill to this...my cubes were not cubes at all...I don't know what shape they were...not cube.....the worst part is, I left so much meat on the bones that I barely have enough for dinner tomorrow.  That 2lb shoulder gave me about .5 lbs of meat.....see what happens when I try to save money honey....it ends in disaster and will now cost more as I need more meat!!!

What a lesson this has been....never try to save money...always pay people to do things for you hehehehe....I am not crazy about this honest butcher....tomorrow morning I will be going back to Market Meats where I will pay the extra $$$  to save me hours of my time...where the meat is top quality, and is already perfectly cut...all pretty and waiting for me to just throw on the grill.

Either way, you can't go wrong...grab a side of animal and enjoy!

The BEST bakeries In Vancouver

So we basically live on bakery row in Vancouver.  It is ridiculous how many unbelievably amazing bakeries and cafes there are along West Broadway in Kits...and we live right smack in the midst of each tempting little place.

I never really went into any of these places before...because, well I never had a sweet tooth before and being the health conscious gal that I am...I often made my own low-fat cookies and baking....that is until I had a baby!  Not sure what has come over me since our little bundle of joy arrived...but I am just LOVING the baked goods.  It first started when my mom came to visit when Dutch was born....she knows Ivan has an insatiable sweet tooth...and that I refuse to keep store bought cookies and crap in the house...so she would sneak out and buy him stuff.  Well this time she went across to the new brownie shop called Yaletown Brownies where there slogan is "We make the best brownies in town" and you better believe THEY DO!!! OMG....brownies have always just been okay to me ...really could take em or leave em....but these brownies are bloody amazing!!! So dense and rich and moist...its almost like eating fudge...but not as intense and gummy as fudge....and they have so many different kinds....my faves are the Pecan Caramel and Peppermint...Ivan digs the white chocolate...but even the gluten free is wicked good....really you can't go wrong.  This is the PERFECT thing to bring as a hostess gift if you are heading to a dinner party or a gathering...they are a bit pricey...but I dare you to get through a whole bar.....usually half does me in...we like to get a few different kinds and cut them into four so we can share the love.

Then a few months or so ago a girlfriend had to drop her baby off with Ivan to watch for a few moments while she ran out...and the bitch returned with the most AMAZING croissants I have ever tasted from Thomas Haas .  I had never bothered to go in before as I thought it was just all fancy chocolates...but oh no..these croissants are just the perfect texture of light and flaky...yet tender and heavenly.  So I just HAD to go there the following weekend to treat myself...only when I entered the store, I knew I was in trouble because they had about 4 or 5 different kinds of beautiful decadent croissants all screaming my name...I settled on the double baked Almond...and I almost couldn't finish it, it was so rich and totally over-the-top...but completely amazing. Everything in that store looked amazing...I hate knowing that we live right beside it.

Then last weekend my brother and sister in law came for a visit with our nephew and I didn't have time to make breakfast in the morning, so I asked Ivan to grab a few bagels from Safeway.  Well these dinks came back with not only the most fabulous bagels ever...but they brought 6 beautiful cinnamon buns from Solly's .  Now these weren't the typical giant doughy, gummy bloat you up for a month, cinnamon buns drowning in frosting..they were light and ever so slightly flaky.. and had so much flavor and substance...they were what cinnamon buns ought to be...how your great gramma probably made them.  This Jewish bakery gets top marks for these babies. My husband typically doesn't like cinnamon buns at all...he would just rather not have one...but even he loved these.  Upon my sister-in-laws recommendation we even froze the last one and ate it the other day...of course not as good as fresh...but still pretty sucken good!

I think we are going to seriously have to consider moving out of this neighbourhood if only so we can save our asses and bellies....Ivan complains all the time about how much weight he mysteriously seems to be gaining.....not much of a mystery when you eat a brownie for lunch and a DQ blizzard for an afternoon snack.  Oh yeh....we also live by a Dairy Queen....but I don't give a crap about that...I don't care for DQ products...but Ivan loves those blizzards...especially in the summer.

So as you can see, it is pure torture for someone with a sweet tooth to live in this area (I haven't even mentioned Nottes Bon Ton - Ivan's favorite since he was a kid....try the diplomat cake...or his traditional treat...the Christmas Log)...I am so lucky I am breastfeeding right now, as it really does help to keep the post-baby weight down...after I indulge in all of these amazing treats..I just pop the little guy on my boob instead of going to yoga or the gym...I may just have to continue breastfeeding forever....hahahah.

So if you are in the mood...or should I say, if your mood needs a little lift and an indulgent snack is what you are after...head to West Broadway in Kitsalano and Enjoy!!!!

Leaving Baby with a Sitter for the first time!

So last night we left Dutch with a babysitter for the first time!!!!  Other than leaving him with my parents or a few hours with one of my best girlfriends, we have not left our 7 month old son with a babysitter.  But last night was Ivan's birthday and I had thrown him a bit of a surprise party so I had no choice but to hire a sitter.

What a daunting task for a new mommy....it was easy to find a babysitter thank goodness...I think I was very lucky that the new family that just moved in across the hall have a teenage daughter who was anxious to babysit. 

Knowing I would need a babysitter for this particular evening, I had to make sure she was prepared (or maybe I was attempting to prepare myself).  So I asked her to come over so we could have a quick chat about the details....I casually sat her down and then asked her a few simple questions.

So how was your day today??? uh hu...whatever...anyway...

How old are you?
Have you babysat before?
Have you held a baby before?
How old was the baby?
Do you feel comfortable around babies?
Do you take drugs and alcohol?
Do you have sex?
Have you ever kidnapped a baby?

Okay maybe I didn't ask those bottom few....but I damn well wanted to.

The first interview went well...I asked how much she charged, and I felt $7 bucks an hour was a steal considering most of my girlfriends have told me that the going rate is a whopping $15/hr!!!!!  I guess she charged so little because it was her FIRST babysitting job.  I don't think I would have hired her if it weren't for the fact that her mom and dad were right across the hall.

So I had her come over a second time to practice picking up Dutch and putting him in the crib, then taking him out and sitting on the couch with him.  This poor girl must have thought I was a complete nightmare....but whatever...its MY baby and if I want to see how you handle MY BABY then you better just do it.  And so she did...Dutch seemed to like her, so I was feeling pretty good.

I restrained myself from having her come over a third time....so the big night rolled around...she was 2 minutes early (good girl) and I felt sick leaving our little baby with this strange young gal....but alas...I did.

We arrived at the party at 7:30...I quickly busied myself greeting guests and making sure the food and bevies were flowing...people were coming up to chat....I slapped on a face of interest..all the while thinking OMG what if this strange family was plotting to move in beside us so they could steal Dutch and fly to another country....they did look a bit shifty last time I saw them in the elevator....yes..Hi..oh thanks for coming to Ivan's party.......uh hu...uh hu...uh hu......Yes, I am sure this family is a bunch of professional baby stealers....so by 8:25 I just had to call.  Ivan told her we would call her on the house phone (good thinking hubby...if I called her on her cell she could be anywhere with Dutch...at the airport...the mall...out at the park drinking with her gang member friends)....ring ring ring ring ring......hello...comes this sweet little innocent voice across the line.  Hey!...I casually say in my "oh I'm such a cool mom" voice...so how's everything going??????  Just fine, she says (liar...are you really at the airport right now...OH wait...I called the house line) Dutch has been sleeping soundly since you left.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....and breathe new mama...breathe......okay thanks...that's all I needed to hear.

Champagne here I come!!!!  The evening was lovely and a good time was had by all....we arrived home to a sweet young girl doing her homework on the couch and my snugly little baby safe and warm in his bed. 

So to all you new moms out there...I KNOW you think these thoughts too (because you have told me yourselves)....no worries...we are all in the same boat...we just have to remember to take a moment to breathe and Enjoy!

Thank You Husband

So as I had mentioned in my last blog...I really think it is how you are brought up, or what you are used to....the influence you had regarding whether to celebrate or how to celebrate your mom on mothers day.  As a child you simply wouldn't know the occasion existed..or even if you did, you wouldn't know what to do.  So it is up to all the daddies out there to set the example!

I think our little boy will have the very best example set by his wonderful father.  It was my first mother's day this year and Ivan admitted he didn't remember when the date was...but someone at work had brought it up.  So he gave me some advanced notice that he would like to celebrate by taking Dutchie for the day so I could get out and do something for myself.  And boy did I!!!  I went to the spa and got a deliciously relaxing 75 min facial.  Then I enjoyed a cup of steaming tea and a giant muffin while reading trash magazines...it was a morning of pure bliss.   Of course I found myself thinking of Dutch and if he was hungry, or if this or if that...so I did call a few times...but Ivan assured me that they were having a wonderful time.

I then zipped to the fish market to purchase some fresh seafood for dinner!!! Ivan had asked me to pick out a recipe so he could cook me dinner....this was music to my ears.  Although a little overwhelming...when my hubby says he wants to cook (which he does about twice a year), but I have to choose the recipe...OMG it took me days to decide...but I finally chose a Cioppino recipe that looked simple but fabulous.

I went home to feed my little man and myself and then off I went again to do a little clothing shopping...but then started to feel guilty for leaving Ivan with Dutchie all day....but trying to convince myself I deserved the break....I tell ya...a woman's brain has never been tested and worked over so intensely once there are children involved.  It's exhausting sometimes.  Nevertheless, I did manage to find two beautiful party dresses.....I went in for some simple tops that would disguise my new mommy tummy...but instead bought two fabulous party dresses???!!! Not sure when or where these parties are happening...but I am ready for when they do.

Picked up a few more groceries for dinner and made a mad dash back home.  We bathed and fed our perfect little angel and then Ivan turned on the tunes and poured me a glass of bubbles while I sat up at the bar watching him prepare an absolutely amazing dinner...in his underwear I might add.  I was in heavan......I loved every moment of it.  There is only one thing I enjoy more than cooking...and that is being cooked for!!! 

We enjoyed a beautiful meal...finished off the bubbles and I couldn't have felt more celebrated if I tried.  My husband made a real effort to make me feel special for my first mother's day and I think because he made this effort...and hopefully does in years to come..our son will be raised with a good appreciation of this lovely occasion.  So Ivan, I want to Thank You so very much for making me feel wonderful for my very first mother's day...for choosing to recognize the occasion...even though I am "not your mother" I feel blessed for these lessons you are teaching our little son.

I look forward to celebrating you on Father's day.

Enjoy.