Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Beauty of Pregnancy

You know you have had one of those days when you take moment to look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that you have spent the entire day with makeup on only one of your eyes.  Yes, thats right....great eyebrow shape, a bit of light eyeshadow, and mascara...all on one eye....way to go Heath!  Everything is just sooooo busy when you have a toddler and you are 9 months pregnant wondering when the heck baby number two is gonna arrive.  I don't know how the eff some of those moms look so pulled together...so with it.  A girlfriend of mine just had baby number FOUR....that's right #4!!!! And it seems no matter when I pop by to see her she always looks good...wearing a cute little outfit....a bit of makeup on and ready for the day.  I am the one spontaneously popping by to see her....knowing that I am doing just this, you would think that I would be the one to pull myself together ....but for some effing reason, this just never seems to happen.   Most of the time I have to shower and wash my hair at night as there is zero time during the day for such luxuries....which leaves my hair a frizzy, shitty mess...so out comes the " I am married and have kids, so I don't care any more" Clip.  My hair is now too short to put all of it back in this flippen clip so huge chunks of it fall down, leaving me looking down right slow....my toddler thinks these are reigns to pull on and often yanks pieces of hair out of my head. 

I always envisioned myself as one of those really hot pregnant chicks...okay, no I didn't....but I thought I would make more of an effort than this.....I typically wear the same stretch pants everyday....except for when I piss in them (which happens regularly at the moment) and then I wear my other stretch pants.  I alternate between two bras, because I am too cheap to buy a new one that feels comfortable, knowing my boobs will change again when the baby comes.  One bra makes my tits look great.....awesome cleavage...hikes em up there....but its now so tight around my rib cage you can see the layers of back fat through my shirt...its like I have a tube of  boobs on my back.  Then there is the other bra....which is a handmedown....yes a borrowed bra (did I mention "too cheap").  She is one of my best friends, so its okay for me to use her maternity bra...so there.  This bra is too big....but damn its comfortable...so I wear it most often....this offers very little support, and allows my gigantic prenatal boobs to rest comfortably on my stomach so I basically look like I have no boobs and one giant stomach.....no...who I am kidding....it just makes me look like I have really saggy boobs resting on my stomach.  But I have no back fat!!! That's gotta be a plus??

I am grateful for these boobs though....I had no problems breastfeeding my first child and do not anticipate any issues with the next....so Thank You boobs! 

Not sure how I got so off topic....not really sure what the topic was now....I would have to re-read from the start and I am tired....just peed my pants again, and I need to go wash this makeup off my one damn eye.  Goodnight and Enjoy.

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