Life Force

I learned a very valuable lesson last night....."Don't Force It". I was tired, but trying to get things prepared for my parents upcoming weekend visit. Because I will be working while they are here on Friday I wanted to thaw out my home made split pea and ham soup for them to heat up for lunch. I had two big jars of the lovely soup tucked away in the freezer.

I popped one on the counter, but the other was in an old peanut butter jar and the entire jar had cracked all over. Shit - I thought....how can I save my soup. So I let it rest in the sink..hoping the frozen soup would shrink a bit and then just nicely slide out of the jar. I checked back often...the entire bottom of the jar fell right off...okay good. I waited a bit longer....I tried to let it slide out...but no luck...this stupid jar was larger at the top, but it had a slightly narrow rim where the lid was...and the bottom was more narrow than the top. Well I would just have to wait a bit longer. Big chunks of glass fell off, creating jagged sort of edges...but still the fucken soup would not pour out.

So brilliant me (or so I thought) decided to help it along....I was tired..it was late, and I just wanted this stupid soup to come out. So I cleverly donned a wooden spoon...gripping the jar with paper towels I firmly pressed the spoon on the frozen soup as it FINALLY started sliding out the bottom...then it stopped...the bottom was too narrow....okay I'll just push harder....YAY success...the soup is out...but WAIT....there is blood spurting everywhere out of my hand....OMG. I quickly run my hand under the tap....I have never seen this much blood flowing ...I reach for a napkin, leaving a trickle behind me. I wrap my hand and realize that there is blood all over the sink and the granite counter...I quickly clean it up (yes, I didn't want to mess up Ivan's freshly cleaned kitchen) while contemplating what to do. I have never been in this sort of scenario before...Ivan was at work...so crying wouldn't help. Water...I need water...now I think I am losing too much blood and maybe I will pass out...water helps. My napkin is now almost soaked through.....I am brave and lift up the napkin and OMG that is a big mutha fucken cut...I am sure I can see my bone. So I wrap another napkin around it....luckily the blood had slowed down to a little trickle.

The clinic downstairs is closed...damn. So I call my husband...I knew I could have handled it on my own...but I didn't want to....I felt a bit scared. He said he would leave work and meet me at St. Pauls. What a crazy place that is....sitting in the waiting room with two crack heads, one covered in blood...chit chatting away about their "old men" who had just beat one of them up. It was really sad to see actually. I am fast tracked into emerg. and the nurses are awesome...and totally making fun of the crack heads. In fact one nurse just stared at me kind of odd like...and then started to giggle....she said...I accidentally put that lady in the hall's chart under your name...and when I pulled up your history....I was shocked and thought WOW she has really cleaned herself up. Quickly realizing that I was not the crack head...but instead the exact opposite...a lady of sparkling health...who can't even deal with a little cut.

Doc comes and freezes the shit out of my hand and puts in some stitches....that freezing was really painful and didn't really work all that well as I could feel the stitches...BARF. Thank god Ivan was there to hold my hand. That said they just chatted along about mortgages as I clenched my eyes shut and wimpered in pain....jerks..they didn't even pay attention to me.

Then it was all over, and they wanted to give me a tetanus shot...but because I am a non believer in unnecessary conventional meds...I was wary and wanted to do some research first. I think they were surprised that I didn't take one. And the one crack head lady was not impressed with me at all....she kept saying...oh you MUST get a tetanus shot...you have to, its imperative...so good for you....and I am staring at her wondering.....and you think I am going to take advice from YOU!? In fact, if you recommend taking one...then forsure I will not!

Anyway....such is life...its funny because as I was pushing the soup through that narrow opening...I kept thinking...this is really stupid...and like everything in life...trying to push a square peg into a round hole can truly end in disaster. From now on, if things do not flow with ease...then I will take a step back and re-evaluate...or just let it be. Life has a way of working itself out anyway, without force...so I think I will always remember this incident as a wonderful life lesson that will teach me to just relax...leave well enough alone and enjoy!