I do love camping....as much as I love my creature comforts of home, shelter, warm bed and clean body...there is something just so fu*kin awesome about CAMPING!!!! Yes, in my every day life, I enjoy putting on my make up, and rock n republic jeans, curling my eyelashes and hair..but in the same breath there is something pretty darn amazing about sleeping outside in the fresh air in a tent, that reminds you of the forts you used to build in your living room as a child, cooking outside, and hearing the calm sounds of nature......OR the beating of your heart when everywhere you see big, bright yellow signs saying BEAR IN AREA, BEAR WARNING, BEARS, BEARS, BEARS...effffff....I totally freaked!!!!
I was invited on my very first Girls camping trip over the August long weekend, and was already a little nervous about it, because I have only camped a few times with Ivan and groups of friends (not counting the times in my parents luxury motorhome)....and I seriously doubted their abilities to save me from such things as spiders and BEARS! Camping with Ivan is easy, because he does all of the "man" stuff (aka. chopping wood, setting up the stove, pitching the tent, setting up tarps etc) and I just cook, relax, and drink wine for the most part. So knowing I would have to do all of my own stuff...and not have my big strapping hubby there to protect me from the scary woods...well, it was a little freaky to me. Luckily enough, I found to be in good hands with Aryn and Christine who are fearless females, and actually picked up the spiders to find them new homes...and I'm pretty sure if confronted by a Bear...they would beat the shit out of it!
We were at a place called Cat Lake, near Squamish BC, and it is beautiful, but apparently they have had 2 BEAR incidents in the last month which did not sound pleasant...so there was a 0 tolerance level there..and camp Nazi as we so affectionately called him, drilled this into our brains! Not only did we have to hike all of our stuff INTO the site...but now each night we would have to hike it all back out! Thank god for the fun little food cache's! Never seen one in my life...and thought it was the coolest thing ever! These buckets suspended by wire pulleys...so you fill them up with food/supplies, close the lid and hoist them into the air, where they dangle away from your campsite and out of Papa Bear's reach...scary..but fun.
I was able to stick to my dietary restrictions quite well...ensuring I packed lots of homemade hummus and fresh veggies, roasted nuts, and quinoa salad to keep me totally satisfied and happy. Camping with women 101...you eat WELL! There's no chips, beans and wieners, cookies, cheesies or another sort of crap, you would most likely encounter if camping with a group that included men. Instead we feasted on Thai vegetable coconut curry over purple rice with lots of fresh cilantro, Spaghetti Quattro (recipe from the excellent Italian hotspot on West 4th), and turkey, cranberry sausages (these were amazing...from Save-On Foods) with grilled veggies...Aryn is such an amazingly awesome gourmet chef, and camping is nothing like I had experienced before in my life!!!! We played cards, dice, talked, giggled and learned from one another. Each day we would have happy hour with some beautiful olives and Gin martini's (Aryn made em dirty and man were they wicked), before we dove into the luscious wines with our fabulous dinners. I know, I know...you wish you could come camping with us....believe you me, I feel privileged that I got the invite!
The trip was fabulous, all until the last night which was a little deliverance-esque. Already feeling quite freaked out each night I lay down to sleep that a bear would eat me....this particular night I am sleeping and become conscious of a noise outside the tent...and I'm unsure of what it is...but then I wake up to realize that there is a radio outside with a fuzzy news station on...and its loud and I almost LOSE it!!!! WFT...why is there all of a sudded a fucken radio playing outside the tent in the middle of the flippen night...OMG, I totally start to panic..the girls are both sound asleep...but after whispering for them to get up..I finally hit Christine who wakes up and say...sushhhhh...listen....and she hears the radio playing...so quickly says....oh quit scaring yourself for no reason...grabs the flashlight and starts yelling..get the fuck out of here...hops out of the tent, and there is nothing to be seen...grabs the radio and puts it inside the tent and totally saves the day...I felt grateful...but as the gals fell back to sleep...my eyes were wired awake like that sick scene from Clockwork orange...I couldn't even blink....THEN....we hear someone yelling across the lake EVAN...EVAN...over and over and over...really loud, we hear faint voices in the distance..and then after about 5mins of horror and yelling...we hear this guy yell to god knows who.....DON'T YOU SEE THAT PERSON WALKING BEHIND YOU...OMG...BARF....my heart is now beating in my eye and I feel sick. Of course in situations like this, I don't tend to think rationally like the girls do (oh its just some guy probably hopped up on mushrooms or some type of drugs), my brain immediately thinks of every single ghost story I have ever heard....every news story (which is pretty much like a horror story)..just waiting for some type of ax murder to bust through the tent....but then it was quiet...the yelling went away...and eventually I somehow managed to fall back asleep...because when I woke up again, it was morning, and I was alive....nothin like a good scare to bring you in touch with reality I say!
Back home now, where I can take a leisurely crap in a real toilet, and not worry about gagging to death on the hangover-pooh fumes of others in the outhouse, wash my smelly body, clean the grime from my nails..and enjoy the fun memories of girls camp...yet be equally happy to be in my cozy warm, bear free bed snuggled up to my hubby!
Enjoy!
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